#hopefully next chapter will be here soon

[myokk]

clumsy

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 9,1k

summary: sebastian is clumsy

cw: fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, two really stubborn idiots in love to be exact, sir cadogan guest appearance, anne and imelda are the gremlin best friends every girl needs, smut (18+ ONLY), oral (f. recieving)

a/n: or: two stubborn brats make things more difficult than they have to be. I've been working on this for a MONTH more or less, ever since I drew the sketch that inspired it🫶 (I'm the world's slowest writer)

The first time Sebastian Sallow interacted with her after the fateful events of their fifth year, he fell for her.

Quite literally.

Maybe fell on her is more aptly put - Sebastian Sallow is not one to mince his words or say what he doesn't mean, after all. But, in the years to come, he always insists that he fell in love in that moment.

It was inexplicable. One moment, he was walking around, perfectly content with his loveless, boring life, and the next, his every waking moment was painful. Nobody had ever told Sebastian that being in love would physically pain or consume him so.

It all started like this: one moment, he's walking (well, striding) to Crossed Wands. Fine, he's running. Running late already, for the first meet-up of his last year. But - he isn't to blame for being late. He needed to check on something in the library - during his Transfiguration lesson, he had a hunch about something Professor Weasley had said in passing, and of course he had to go and check to see if he was right before he could even think about besting Leander in the inaugural duel of the Crossed Wands season but now, with how late he is - how many minutes ago had it started? - oh, Merlin, it's already been ten whole minutes and what if they've started without him (not that he can blame them) and -

Sebastian is abruptly pulled out of his thoughts when he collides with a strange obstruction in his way. He was just checking his father's old pocket watch, had only looked away for a split second and he could have sworn that, unless he was mistaken (which he never is), there wasn't a statue in the middle of the suspension bridge. And yet, he has run headfirst into something or someone, and now they are both flying through the air, books whirling around them in a flurry of pages and Sebastian unconsciously puts his arms out to grab her before they hit the ground and now he's holding her tight against him and they land with a loud, ungraceful thud, but at least she's not hurt.

Sebastian shakes his head to clear it after the impact that - miraculously - doesn't seem to have been as bad as it could have been, all things considered, and -

He freezes.

What has he done?

He's pressed up against the most impossibly lovely person he has ever seen quite possibly in his life, holding her tightly in his arms as she glares up at him in indignation, a faint flush spreading across her cheeks, making her face glow. Is this what the muggles mean when they say that they were struck by Cupid's arrow? Her hands scrabble uselessly at his chest as she tries to extricate herself from his grip. It's useless. Sebastian is completely frozen in place as he stares down at her, and he can feel his own face heating up at his inability to get off her. What's wrong with him?

"Sebastian," she repeats, and this time her voice registers in his brain. He realizes she has been talking to him this whole time, and as he stares at her face without comprehending - he couldn't have a coherent thought right now even if he wanted to - he sees her eyes dart quickly down, looking at where their bodies meet before she brings them back to his face, a deeper blush coming over her. "You -"

Oh, Merlin. It's her. He blinks and it's like the fog has cleared from his mind - almost, but-not-quite - and he realizes who he has unceremoniously crashed to the ground with him. The spines of the textbooks they are lying on top of dig into the arm that's pinned under her body and his other hand...he realizes (to his almost-horror) that to any students or professors walking by, it would seem as if they were caught up in quite the scandalous extra-curricular activity because his other hand is actively caressing her breast. Well, that's how it would look to any passerby, anyways.

Because there is no way he would be caught dead in such a compromising position with her.

The two of them haven't spoken since the events of their fifth year - the Year-That-Shall-Not-Be-Remembered-or-Acknowledged - and he had been perfectly content with his plan to continue this strange sort of ignoring that they had played all last year. Both of them pretending that they hadn't become impossibly close after only knowing each other for a few months - a closeness that he had gone and ruined by not knowing when to quit. All he had known to do back then was push push push because why couldn't she see things the way he had? The betrayal he had felt when she had gone behind his back to find her own way to cure his sister, and that one stupid word uttered in the heat of the moment, had caused an irreparable rift in their relationship and he would not allow himself to think about how much he missed her. Still misses her.

Just like he will not think about the fact that she is pressed beneath him in a compromising position, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she glares up at him in indignation. He continues to stare at her. Maybe his mouth is agape. She's stopped trying to get out of his grip and is resting her hands on his chest, seemingly waiting for an opportunity to push him off of her.

"Sebastian. Your hand," she repeats. "You're -"

Finally his idiot brain decides to wake up and Sebastian realizes with horror just how aroused he is at the moment and how did he never see her like this before? He gets up in a flash, pushing her back against the pile of books they're lying on top of, wondering if he can subtly adjust his robes without her realizing and then he makes the very grave mistake of looking down at her and she's still very much red-faced, propping herself up by her elbows and she looks so disheveled and lovely lying on top of the pile of books.

His idiot brain has now woken up completely, and how is it possible for one hormonal, eighteen-year-old wizard to be so embarrassed? He knocked her to the ground, pushed her further back in the books in his desperate attempt to get away from her, and now all he can think about is how to hide his arousal. Shameful, really. Sebastian quickly crouches down to help her pick up all of the books but she shoves him away and glares at him with an annoyance that he's never seen before.

"I can do it myself, thank you very much," she says with a huff, gathering everything they spilled up into her arms. She grabs the book Sebastian is holding out of his hands and he inhales sharply at the touch of her fingers grazing his.

Did someone - Garreth, maybe - spike his pumpkin juice with Amortentia during lunch? It's the only explanation he can think of as he stares blankly down at her. How else would he find her so beautiful, so breathtaking, when the last time they had interacted, Ominis and Anne had had to act as intermediaries for the two of them?

"Well," she says finally, slinging her school bag over her shoulder once all of her books have been unceremoniously shoved inside of it, "it's been...nice seeing you again, Sallow. I hope you had a good summer holiday."

And with that, she quickly turns and walks away in the direction she had been coming from, leaving a very confused Sebastian behind. He watches her as she walks away and her long, swishing braid is the last thing he sees before the door closes behind her at the far end of the bridge.

Eventually, he gathers his wits and wanders away.

He does not go to the first Crossed Wands meeting that afternoon after all.

She has not had a full-night's sleep since he somehow cursed her mind and her thoughts a week ago, and she can feel herself slowly slipping into insanity. A curse is the only answer that makes sense, the only thing that gives a conceivable answer to all the wicked dreams she has been having since that moment, dreams that cause her to wake up sweaty and breathless and needing him in the middle of the night in a way she has never felt before. She has been an absolute mess, a disastrous version of her normally quite put-together self, and she is not happy about it.

He's sitting next to her now - they were partnered up by the evil Professor Onai in their first NEWT Divination class of the year - and she's holding herself rigidly, arms tight across her chest, in an attempt to not accidentally touch him. Lately, every single time they make fleeting eye contact across the table during breakfast, or when they pass each other in the hallways, a shiver runs down her spine at the unfamiliar look in his eyes and she has to avert her eyes before it's too much.

Divination has never been a favorite subject of hers - too impermeable for her tastes. She is only taking it at the NEWT level because, during her career counseling with Professor Ronen at the end of her fifth year, he had said that if she wanted to be an Unspeakable she couldn't just work with logic (a preposterous thought, but as a sixteen-year-old she hadn't seen any recourse in arguing with the Ministry's requirements). She supposedly needs to get comfortable with the intangible as well. It doesn't mean she has to enjoy it, though: she doesn't, and never will. The Divination classroom is dark and stuffy, tucked away in one of the highest towers of the castle, and the nauseating smell of incense always coats her nasal cavities long after the class has finished. She finds her thoughts getting muddled in the haze of candle smoke and swirling orbs on the shelves around her - magic somehow always feels thicker up here - and the presence of a certain someone whose knees keep brushing hers under the tiny table they're sharing, a certain someone who has - improbably, inconceivably, impossibly - hit a growth spurt that summer and now towers over her and had encompassed her completely when he knocked her to the ground, isn't helping her concentration at -

"This week, we are going to review everything we learned together last year," Professor Onai says, after the class had rearranged itself based on her instructions. Sebastian shoots a look at her as she shakes her head in an attempt to clear it and sits up straighter. She hopes that Onai's lecture will help her concentrate and clear her mind a bit. If she has something to focus on, to try and think of and remember, it will be better than him. Anything would be better than Sebastian. Onai gives an appraising look to each table before continuing her speech. "As your NEWTs are at the end of the year, we need to make sure you are as prepared as possible. Open your books to page two-hundred and thirty. Today we're going to review the art of palmistry. I should hope that you do not need the aid of your textbook to help interpret the lines in your partner's palm but in the case that you do -"

She chances a glance at Sebastian before getting out her copy of Divining the Undivinable from her bag and wishes she hadn't. He looks uncomfortably big sitting on the tiny tea chair across from her, barely any hints of the boy who had completely swept her away two years ago visible on the sharper planes of his face. When had he - had they - grown up?

Sebastian Sallow was - is - charming, and that had been her downfall. She had successfully avoided his charms the year before, and she wasn't going to let that happen this year, no matter how much her body rebelled against her mind and resolve. Because, as she reminds herself, Sebastian Sallow is also manipulative, and cold-hearted, and selfish.

"Well," she says archly, opening her book. She will not look at him. "I suppose I am still quite ignorant of the practice of Divination, so do forgive me if I have to double-check my readings in the textbook."

He says her name as she opens the book, and she ignores him. He says her name again. She continues to ignore him. He grabs the book from her hands and puts it the correct way for her. She was looking at it upside-down. Her cheeks heat up and she continues flipping through the pages, as if nothing has happened. She finds page two-hundred and thirty. She pretends to be interested in what she sees.

(Divination is unfortunately not interesting.)

Oh, fine.

"Do you want to start, or should I?"

These are the first words she has voluntarily spoken to him - not including the events of last week, which do not count as they were most decidedly not voluntary - since he called her ignorant a year and a half ago. He somehow looks surprised to see that she has addressed him, and for some reason this fills her with rage and a strange sort of confidence. Why shouldn't she be able to talk to him?

"Here," she says, putting her hand out towards him, palm up, ignoring the strange fluttering feeling in her chest when he gently grabs it with one of his. Sebastian looks up at her, waiting for her to continue speaking, and were she not looking at him so intently she would have easily missed the bob of his throat as he swallows nervously. "Show me how it's done."

Her breath catches in her throat at the small, mischievous smirk he shoots to her before he bends over her hand and gently starts tracing the lines on her palm with the fingers of the hand that's not holding hers in place. His touch is feather-light and somehow soft, despite the roughness of his fingers as they drag over her palm. Every nerve in her body seems to have moved to wherever he touches and all of the bravado and anger she had just felt is quickly melting away. When she finally finds her voice, she hates how soft and breathy it sounds. She can't look away from the sight of his larger hands caressing hers.

"Well? What do you see? Do you remember the different lines? Because I -"

She falters. The murmurs of their classmates blend together in the background and the dim lights of the candles...the hazy, thick atmosphere and his proximity and the barely there touches of his rough fingertips on her sensitive palm are altogether too overwhelming and she needs to get out of there. She's supposed to be angry with him. Furious, even. Holding this grudge has been the only way she has been able to have any sort of power over him this past year, and yet...all she can think about at the moment are the sinful dreams she's been having lately where he presses her against a wall, desperately kissing her lips, her neck - even she knows that there has to be more to it - but what?

Sebastian blinks as she snatches her hand away like it's been burned and - oh, Merlin - she shoves the textbook back into her schoolbag and almost knocks the candle on the table over and wouldn't it be awful if she had started a fire? But she can't think about any of that now in her haste to just get out of the claustrophobic Divination tower.

Vaguely, she can hear Professor Onai asking her if everything is fine and she's not sure but she thinks she mumbles something about needing to go to the Hospital Wing - that's a good enough excuse to leave, isn't it? - but then she hears his voice, deep and cutting through the fog in her mind -

"Don't worry, I'll take her and make sure she gets there fine." A muffled response from their professor and then his voice, just as clear as before. "No, I don't know what happened..."

She hears him calling her name as she flees down the spiral staircase, almost tripping over her feet in her rush to get away from him, but he catches up quickly, reaching out to grab her arm in an attempt to slow her down. She stops running immediately - she supposes her traitorous body wants to see what he has to say, or maybe it just wants to bask in his intoxicating proximity. He crowds her space, and she sees that unfamiliar look in his eyes again. So very different from the cold disdain she had seen the last time she had been this close to him, during the argument that had ended their friendship.

"Let go of me," she whispers, but there's no conviction in her voice as she gazes into his deep, brown eyes. He can tell she doesn't mean it and doesn't make any move to listen to her. Why can't she hold on to the rage? A muggle quote about anger floats through her mind: Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. What a sweet poison her anger at Sebastian had been, while it lasted. She tries telling herself that he must still feel the same as the evening he had called her ignorant (ignoring the small voice in her head that reminded her of the letters of apology he had sent (that she had burned without reading), the times he had tried to get Anne or Ominis involved and apologize for him) - because why couldn't he just tell her himself? Maybe she had shut down any and all attempts he had made to repair the rift that he had caused in the first place, but she had been right to be so angry with him.

But oh, Merlin, he's getting closer to her, and she can now clearly see the freckles dusting his cheeks and nose and forehead and then before she knows it, his hand is sliding up her arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches and then he's caressing her jaw with his rough thumb and he pauses. Her eyelids flutter closed as her head tilts towards him - she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to (what does she want?). She can feel his warm breath ghosting over her lips and she has the improbable, ridiculous thought - how is he remembering to breathe? - before he speaks. His lips brush against hers with every soft word and a deep shiver runs through her body.

"I," she hears him say, his voice so, so low, "haven't been able to think since last week."

That's all she needs to hear, the brush of his bottom lip against hers all she needs to feel, to push her into closing what minuscule distance there is between them and then his lips are on hers and it's better than anything she's been imagining. His mouth is soft against hers, insistent, and her hands go up to grip the collar of his plaid jacket to make sure he doesn't go away or disappear on her.

She knows she's behaving wantonly, snogging Sebastian Sallow in the middle of the hallway where anyone could come across them, but third period has only just started and besides, she has had a week of restless nights being tortured by thoughts of him. A week of a few hours of sleep found here and there. Just one kiss should be enough to help her get over these strange feelings, right? She only feels like this because having him lie on top of her after he crashed into her - that satisfying weight of him - the friction of his thumb brushing against her nipple - had made her realize just how stupid she had been, holding this grudge against him for -

She whimpers in protest but it quickly turns into a moan as his mouth moves away from hers and down to her neck. He pulls at her tight collar desperately - she hears some seams ripping - to give him better access to it, and she finds herself arching her back and pushing her body closer to his as he nuzzles her neck with his nose before giving it open, sloppy kisses. When he hears her, he moves back to kissing her, greedily capturing every breathy moan that comes out of her mouth, but the noises coming from him are matching hers, and at the sound she feels an unfamiliar clenching deep in her stomach. Her fingers come up to his hair, going through the silky curls over and over - how are they as soft as his lips? - and he slowly pushes her back until she's sandwiched between his warm body and the cold stone of the wall behind her.

He lets out a low, frantic growl as a hand goes to grip the back of her head, holding her in place as he slants his mouth over hers. He tastes like cinnamon and...like something forbidden. What has gotten into her? She hates him, and yet...

They have abandoned any pretense of propriety - had they ever even been trying? - by this point. His tongue swipes across her lips and then she is completely lost to him, to every sensation of his mouth, and tongue, on hers. His large hands - the wicked hands that had been caressing her palm and had caused this whole mess in the first place - have moved to her waist and are pulling her even closer to him. When he pulls away briefly, she whines in protest, opening her eyes to glare at him. The sight of him, flushed and breathless, his eyes wide and pupils dilated - must match her own appearance because she sees the same hunger she feels in his eyes. She has never seen Sebastian Sallow so disheveled, but she finds she quite likes it and tugs on his curls with a whine. He obliges eagerly, bringing his mouth back to hers.

She's pressed as tightly against him as she can possibly be, and yet it still isn't enough. Her back arches once again, trying to find something, and then he slots one of his knees between her legs. She moans at the friction caused by his movements, can feel an unfamiliar slickness forming at the juncture between her legs, and this seems to spur him on further as his kisses get more desperate and sloppy. She moves against his leg, trying to relieve some of her discomfort, gasping into his mouth, when -

They freeze. Even if they are fully, completely, absorbed by...whatever this is, they can't ignore the strange, metallic clanking sound coming from their left. Sebastian pulls his head back from her slowly, reluctantly, breathing heavily, and looks over to see what the noise is. She wants to, but all of a sudden the horrifying reality of what they've been doing sinks in and oh god what if the noise is a person? Someone who has now seen her in what might possibly be the most mortifying moment of her life - desperately snogging Sebastian Sallow - and she finds she can't look over. She tucks her head into his neck to hide her face as she listens.

"I demand that you get away from her at once, you knave! Cease your attack!"

The voice sounds vaguely familiar, but she's certain that it doesn't belong to any of her classmates. He almost sounds...medieval, but -

"I made haste when I heard sounds of distress coming from down the hallway," the voice continues, "and it appears I have arrived not a moment too soon!"

She brings her head away from Sebastian's shoulder but still refuses to look over at whoever is speaking, instead choosing to stare at Sebastian's face. He's still deliciously flushed from their snogging, still breathing heavily, but now he looks terribly confused. His brows are furrowed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to come up with a response to the outrage currently being directed at him.

The unknown man is continuing his diatribe, almost not even stopping to breathe as he gets more and more worked up, and she hears some more clanking as he reaches a particularly exciting moment in his rant. Sebastian looks increasingly confused, but still shields her with his body, not moving away from her at all despite the accusations.

Her curiosity gets the better of her and she peeks over to see who it is.

The man who has been reprimanding Sebastian so boldly is none other than Sir Cadogan. Although she's never interacted with him directly, she often hears him yelling at his pony as she passes his portrait on her way to Divination. The knight is standing between two witches having tea, who are glaring at him quite angrily as he gesticulates wildly - every movement of his sword comes dangerously close to their display of cakes and sandwiches and it looks like he has already broken some plates. His armor is ill-fitting and loose on him, which explains the terrible noise.

"You rascally knave! I assure you that you do not want to find out what will happen to you if you do not unhand the fair maiden."

He brandishes his sword again, and the woman closest to him quickly snatches her tea cup away to save it from being broken as well. "Come now, Sir Cadogan," she says, exasperated. "Can't you see that these two are in love?"

The other woman joins her protests, nodding vigorously. "Yes, exactly that. Leave them be!"

"Nonsense," he exclaims. "I too have succumbed to my baser instincts on occasion and I can assure you that this is decidedly not what is occurring."

As Sir Cadogan continues to alternate between lecturing her and Sebastian, and directing his two attention to the ladies who are defending them, she looks back to the boy in question. Sebastian is looking down at her, a bemused smile on his lips and she feels a twinge in her chest. His face is still so close to hers that if she wants to, they could be snogging again with barely any effort and her eyes briefly flicker down to his tempting mouth before going back to his eyes, but...

What had gotten into her? What is she doing?

He had somehow managed to manipulate her again, because there is no way that this situation could have happened otherwise. All of a sudden, the anger she's been feeling for the past year and a half - that had left for a brief, blissful moment - surges again, and she pushes Sebastian away from her with as much force as she can muster. She almost feels bad as the happiness in his face turns to confusion, then frustration as he realizes she's getting away from him.

"Stay away from me," she hisses, picking up her discarded schoolbag from its spot on the ground. As she stalks down the hall, she can hear Sir Cadogan cheering on her bravery over the ringing in her ears.

She has a lot of thinking to do.

Sebastian Sallow's List of Priorities (in no particular order):

Figure out what the hell I'm going to do when I graduate;

Figure out how the hell I'm going to finish this bloody Charms essay before tomorrow; and

Figure out what the hell is going on between us

Sebastian sits in an undisturbed corner of the library - nobody ever comes to this table because it's tucked away between shelves of incredibly dense magical theory books - and is twirling his quill in his fingers, watching the ink splatter on the list he spent his precious time writing instead of the Charms essay he should be working on. He's far away from the first-years who like to congregate by the windows and watch the leaves fall softly to the ground rather than study for their classes. He's made especially sure that he is far, far away from her.

It's not his choice, mind you, but he needs to be a gentleman about these things. If she needs some time and space to figure out that she's as crazy for him as he is her, fine. But even Sebastian Sallow's patience runs thin, and he's not sure how much longer he can give her to come to her senses before he snaps and takes matters into his own hands. If things were up to him, the two of them would be sitting far too close together now in this secluded corner, and maybe he would need to put a hand over her mouth to ensure her complete silence as he runs a hand up her thigh.

Now that he knows what delicious sounds can come out of her mouth - sounds that he caused - he's been having a hard time concentrating on, well, anything. Sebastian surreptitiously glances across the library to where she's sitting and studying with his sister and Imelda. Ever since the events after their Divination class, Sir Cadogan has taken it upon himself to follow Sebastian around the halls of the castle, tripping through frames and disrupting their inhabitants as he lectures Sebastian on love. The tea party women had managed to convince the knight that he had disrupted an amorous exchange, and Sebastian fervently wishes they hadn't.

The whole school is abuzz with rumors about who it could be. Nobody has even come close so far with their guesses, but Anne and Imelda are having too much fun teasing him about it. Somehow, she has managed to avoid suspicion - he wonders how this is even possible, since she's never been able to hide what she's thinking. He makes eye contact with her - has she been staring at him this whole time? - and she flushes before looking over to Imelda, who's laughing too loudly at something Anne's just said. Sebastian can't tear his eyes away from her profile, his eyes following the curve of her eyebrow, the slight upturn of her lips as she smiles at her friends, her eyes as they dart back to him, her cheeks as she turns an even darker shade of red as she realizes he's still watching her. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and rests her chin on her hand as she tries to look absorbed in what Anne is saying to her.

Sebastian wonders if she's thought about him as much as he's thought about her. Judging by how she had snogged him back, he's positive that she feels the same way, but then he remembers how she had looked at him before she fled, and he's not so sure. He sighs as he looks back to his list, bringing his quill back to the third item and ripping the paper as he crosses it out again. His mind has been going in circles since that moment and he doesn't know what to think. He slowly puts everything into his schoolbag before heading out of the library for yet another freezing cold shower that hopefully tempers his now-permanent state of arousal whenever she's around.

He doesn't notice her eyes following him as he walks out of the library.

He doesn't hear her hurried excuse to Anne and Imelda as she shoves her things into her bag and rushes to follow him.

He doesn't hear her light footsteps as she gets closer to him.

When she puts a hand out to touch his arm as he waits for the moving staircase to stop, with a soft, "Sebastian" accompanying it, he nearly jumps out of his skin. He was so absorbed with thoughts of her, that to see her standing at his side, closer than she had been since they kissed was almost his snapping point.

"Can we talk?" she asks, looking almost embarrassed as she avoids his eyes. She instead looks determinedly at his collar. He thinks she probably notices that he swallows nervously before acquiescing, but she says nothing as she turns and starts hurrying away from him without waiting to see if he follows her.

She must know that he would follow her anywhere at this point.

They weave through hallways - Sebastian vaguely wonders where exactly they're going - before reaching a little alcove, hidden by a suit of armor. She looks around before pulling him into it. It's almost curfew and the halls are never that busy when the weather is as beautiful as it has been these days - the end of September seems to be clinging on to the summer for as long as possible.

Her lips are on his before he can even ask her what she needed to talk with him about, hungry and desperate. Sebastian is too stunned to pull away - not that he would actually want to. Her arms wrap around his neck, keeping Sebastian close, slender fingers sliding through his hair.

"What," she says breathlessly between kisses - almost not even moving her mouth away from his enough to be able to enunciate properly, "are you doing to me? I haven't been able to think for the last month."

Sebastian smiles into her mouth, wondering if she knows that she's repeating the very thing he told her two weeks ago. Maybe she has been thinking of him all this time - he almost hopes that she's been suffering as much as he has. Instead of responding, he moves a hand to cup her jaw, deepening the kiss. His other hand moves to her waist, gripping it tightly, pulling her flush against his body and she gasps into his mouth. He slowly moves her closer to the window alcove behind them, snogging her senseless the whole time. She moans into his mouth which just spurs him on further - her skirt rides up to her hips as Sebastian trails a hand up her stockinged thigh and they both gasp when his hand reaches skin. Her skin is so, so soft and her breathing gets faster as he continues to caress her inner thigh, closer to the bend between her thigh and her center. Sebastian wonders if she's ever been touched there before by someone else and jealousy flares up inside of him at the thought.

In one swift move, he scoops her up and places her so that she's sitting on the window-ledge, the dusky light of the sunset illuminating her from behind and making her wispy flyaway hairs a golden halo around her. Sebastian's breath catches in his throat - has he ever seen anything so beautiful as her in that moment? - she's staring up at him, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, her breathing shallow and anticipation in her eyes. "You're," he starts saying and his throat goes dry. He brings a hand up to tuck the errant lock of hair - the one she had tucked earlier in the library - behind her ear and she leans her head into his touch, closing her eyes briefly before looking up at him again with wide eyes. "You're perfect."

She smiles faintly and pulls his head back down towards hers and now she's brushing her lips against his, teasing him, before it's too much and he grips the back of her head, holding her in place as he crushes his mouth against hers in a bruising kiss. Her knees are on either side of his waist, and she desperately grinds her core against his throbbing erection and they both groan at the friction. Sebastian moves his hands down to her thighs again as he kisses her, slowly caressing his way up and pushing her skirt up further until it's completely bunched around her waist. She gasps into his mouth at his first tentative touch after he pushes aside her undergarments. Sebastian swipes a finger up her slit, through the slick that coats it, and then he starts circling her clit with slow, even strokes. She shivers against him - at his touch - clinging tightly to his shoulders and gasping into his mouth as he continues.

Every little noise coming out of her mouth, feeling how wet she is, how the slickness keeps growing growing growing makes Sebastian hungry for more - it isn't enough -

Slowly - so slowly - he wants to savor this moment - he lowers himself until he's kneeling between her legs and he looks up at her. Her face is deliciously flushed, all swollen lips and hair in a wild cloud around her face and all she can do is stare down at him. Her chest is heaving and she tries to close her legs - hide what is exposed to him - but he holds her thighs firmly in place on either side of his head. He turns his head and kisses her inner thigh, maintaining eye contact as he swipes his tongue across where he's just kissed, moving closer towards her slick center.

"Oh," she breathes, not-quite-a-word, not-quite-a-gasp, when his mouth reaches her center and hovers over it, lips slowly teasing her the way she had just teased him. Sebastian tentatively runs his tongue up her slit; the loud moan she lets out when he reaches her clit makes him stay there, applying light and not-so-light pressure in equal measure.

Her hands are scrabbling at his hair, digging into his scalp, ruining his earlier attempts to make it look presentable, hopefully attractive, for her these days. She's pushing his head deeper into the space between her legs, starting to rock herself slightly on his mouth, and Sebastian is happy to oblige. He eagerly laps up her slit, and the obscene wet noises as he continues combined with her whimpers and barely-spoken profanities "oh-yes-fuck-yes-there-please-" are making him hard beyond belief. He's straining against his trousers, begging to be let free. Without moving his face from her, he unbuttons his trousers and starts palming himself, using the slickness weeping out of the tip as lubrication.

She's abandoned all control at this point, grinding herself into his face as he laps her up, and it's driving him wild - knowing that he's doing this to her - causing her to be so undone. Normally she's so poised and aloof, never letting any real emotion flicker across her face, so to see her so desperate and needy and wanting him so -

Sebastian's gasping into her, tongue deep inside of her, "ohmygod" he hears her whisper, her hips driving into his face when she shudders and goes still, pulsing around the tongue that's deep inside of it. He slows down, smiling as he continues to run his tongue up her slit until she's responsive again. He kisses her inner thigh and hears her moan before getting up, caressing a finger down her love-struck face and leaning his head down to kiss her deeply. With his other hand he's still touching himself - the thought that she can taste herself on his tongue driving him crazy - and he starts rubbing its blunt head against her swollen clit. She takes it out of his hand- he groans at the feeling of her soft hands (the hands he had held a week ago in Divination and pictured doing this exact thing) tentatively caressing his length before she begins to slide it up and down her slit, coating it in her wetness.

Sebastian has surrendered all control to her - resting his hands on either side of her hips on the windowsill, tucking his head into the crook of her neck and thrusting with her movements as he loses himself in the sensation of sliding through her slick folds. He can feel his release building building building, and when he finally comes, all over her perfect, pink center, it feels like a finally.

Sebastian feels so, so heavy as he pulls his head away from her shoulder, as if he could fall into a blissful sleep right there, in the little window alcove where they've hidden themselves away. The sun has now set completely and they're in shadow as they stare at each other, the sound of their ragged breathing filling the tiny space.

"Sebastian, I..."

She's staring at him with an unfathomable expression on her face, still holding him in her hand, her other hand playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. They look down and he feels his face heat up even more at the mess he's made - he quickly pulls out his wand and cleans her up, before looking back at her, giving her a wry smile as he buttons up his pants and helps her off the ledge. "What did you want to talk to me about, again?"

She gives a slight shake of her head and looks away, but she can't hide the small smile that's growing on her face just like she can't help her eyes that keep wandering over to his. He knows the growing smile on his face matches hers - did that really just happen? She reaches over to lace her fingers through his as they walk around the suit of armor. "I - it's not important."

"Come on," he says, not being able to resist the opportunity to tease her - he's somehow managed to break through the barriers she's set up around her, and he's not about to let the opportunity slide. "Surely that's not what you had in mind when you..."

Sebastian trails off as he sees the expression in her face turn to one of horror - he didn't think his teasing was that bad, was it? - but she's also pulling her hand out of his like she's been burned and -

He follows her gaze, to where it's fixed at the end of the hallway and he knows that once again his face mimics hers. He will never live this down.

Standing at the end of the hallway and looking like two cats who've just found a huge dish of milk, are his sister and Imelda.

Misery.

Complete and utter misery are what she's feeling, if she has to put it into words, which she does. Writing things down always helps her out, helps her organize her thoughts into some sort of order. Except...this time around, it's not really helping. She can't seem to make any sense of her feelings for Sebastian.

She looks over the muddled mess of words she's written down - stream of consciousness, incomprehensible babble - and sighs. She's been dreaming of falling in love since she was a young girl - Jane Austen will do that to you - and can't believe that now that she's had her opportunity, it has to go and be with Sebastian Sallow. Because it has to be love, hasn't it?

There can be no other explanation for the painful way her stomach twists itself up whenever she catches a glimpse of him these days, the way he's consuming her every thought - even when she's dreaming she can't escape him. She can't get the sight of his tousled curls between her legs, his mischievous, warm brown eyes looking up at her as she had the most mind-numbing, toe-curling orgasm of her life - none of the times she's touched herself have ever come close to the sensations he managed to evoke.

Every time she's walking through the hallways between classes and hears his loud voice as he jokes with Garreth, or Ominis, about quidditch or Merlin-knows-what her eyes snap to his face as if he were the sun, and she a sunflower searching for its warmth. And he is most decidedly not the sun. He has the tendency to snort when he laughs, and he laughs too much, especially at his own jokes. Sometimes he talks while he eats. He always twirls his quill between his long fingers in the most annoying way, splattering ink onto any parchment unfortunate to be caught underneath. But he also...

He also always goes out of his way to prepare Ominis's Potions ingredients (why Ominis decided to take and was accepted into NEWT level is a mystery to everyone), occasionally stops to play a round of gobstones with Zenobia when he has the time. Sebastian can often be found in his favorite armchair in the Slytherin common room, resting his face on his hand as he idly flips through the pages of some book, looking altogether too handsome as he does so. And when he stretches and yawns at the end of every Arithmancy lesson - like he is now - his shirt lifts up a bit and she can see a tan sliver of his stomach and -

Snapping in front of her: she blinks and looks over: when she sees it's Imelda her face immediately turns beet red and she grabs the paper she's been doodling on and rips it to shreds as fast as she can.

"Are you fantasizing about a certain annoying someone?" Imelda asks with a wicked grin, dramatically looking over her shoulder at the certain someone in question. He's still stretching, blinking sleepily; when he notices the two girls watching him he flushes deeply. Her stomach twinges again at the sight of him noticing her - has he thought about her since that moment as much as she has? What would she do if he had? Or...if he hadn't? - and she focuses instead on the paper she is currently destroying.

"Imelda," she hisses, glaring at her best friend, "stop."

Imelda does not stop.

Imelda doesn't stop during their walk to Herbology, and she does not stop as they set up their planting stations, and she most certainly does not stop as they mutter charms over their plants.

Ever since she experienced the most wonderful moment in her whole life, followed by the most mortifying, Anne and Imelda have not stopped pestering her about it. They've finally solved the 'Sir Cadogan Puzzle' - I knew it was you all along, claims Anne - but if they truly knew what had happened between her and Sebastian, she's afraid the two of them would simply combust. She loves them dearly, but they never know when to stop, and they've been pushing and poking and prodding her for more information the whole week. She has managed to remain tight-lipped and, she hopes, mysterious about the whole thing, but she's getting tired of the teasing.

"Really," Anne says, wiping her forehead and leaving a trail of dirt behind, "if you would only talk to him, I would stop bothering you. Promise."

"Yes," chimes in Imelda, on her other side, wrestling the leaves of her own plant into submission. "You know, after we saw the two of you holding hands and looking at each other with stars in your eyes, I'm really starting to doubt that you hate him as much as you claim."

"Were the two of you snogging in secret all of last year too? Because, I'm starting to get annoyed thinking of all the times I had to talk to my brother for you because of your stubborn pride."

Does she still hate him? She certainly thinks she should, but then her thoughts get terribly confusing as she continues to think about him, and she realizes all of her old hatred has long since faded. Anne has forgiven her brother, Ominis has forgiven him, and all that remains is her.

They should talk, but she doesn't know what to say.

She's afraid that maybe the man she's been inventing in her mind this past month is simply a figment of her imagination - a fictitious being created by an accumulation of stolen glances when he doesn't know she's watching, someone who all of their classmates seem to like, someone who is very different from the fifteen-year-old boy she had that terrible argument with all that time ago. Maybe he doesn't actually exist.

She would be crushed if he's hiding the fact that he still holds on to that desperate darkness that had driven him to save Anne by any means necessary.

And so she keeps her space. She watches him from afar, feeling the hatred slowly melt off of her, falling more in love every day, but too cowardly to make the next move.

Anne and Imelda continue bantering on either side of her, not noticing - or, more likely, not caring - that she isn't participating.

Sebastian's hands are sweating. He wipes them on the inside of his robes as he glances at the girl next to him. She's holding herself rigidly, but she did this to herself, sitting next to him at dinner as she had.

Well, sitting next to him hadn't been completely her idea if he's being honest. He'd been having dinner with Anne, and the two of them were dying of laughter as she recounted seeing Duncan Hobhouse get tormented by Peeves earlier that day. One moment, Anne had been demonstrating what she had seen using her potatoes and green beans as props, and the next, a particularly evil grin had lit up her face as she pushed her plate away with gusto and jumped to her feet, calling her over.

"It would be such a shame for these potatoes to go to waste, seeing as I have a very important meeting to attend," Anne had said, after pushing her friend into the very tight space at Sebastian's side. "Never mind the mess, I can assure you I didn't actually eat the food..."

And with that, Anne had flounced away, Imelda on her arm, the two girls cackling to each other as they snuck wicked glances over their shoulders at the couple.

A couple who is now steadfastly avoiding each other and trying their hardest not to even brush elbows. Sebastian is altogether too aware of her presence, has been for the better part of a month, and his patience is dangerously close to snapping. He keeps getting maddeningly close to finally getting her to open up to him - had actually achieved it for a few blissful moments - just to have it be taken away again. It's almost embarrassing how many times he's thought about their encounter. She had been everything he'd been dreaming about and more - soft, responsive, just as desperate as him - so why has she been avoiding him so thoroughly?

Yes, he's caught her staring at him more times than he can count, with that same unfathomable expression she had before, almost dreamy - wistful - could it be love? But he knows that it's preposterous, wishful thinking on his part. If it were love - if she felt the same crazy, tumultuous emotions that he was feeling constantly - she wouldn't be so cold towards him. Even if she was staring at him more than ever before.

He doesn't notice as she slips a folded paper into the book sitting next to his plate, but he does notice that she sits next to him for barely five minutes, not even touching the food that Anne has so graciously left her, before she gets up and slips away without so much as speaking a single word to him, or even looking in his direction at all.

Sebastian's sitting in a nearly empty common room after curfew, flipping through his book as he normally does this time of day, when she sees him pause.

Although she's been waiting for this moment, watching him from the corner she's tucked herself away in, she feels ready to pass out from nerves. Her heart's ready to burst out of her chest as she watches him curiously pick up the letter she slipped in his book earlier, brow furrowed. She wrings her hands nervously as she watches him read the letter and flip over the page to see if there's more, and then he goes back to read it again from the beginning.

She wasn't expecting him to read it a second time, let alone a third time, still with an inscrutable expression on his face. Maybe she should have positioned herself closer so she could see every emotion flickering through his face as he reads - she's too far away to see anything and she curses her lack of foresight. If she moves now, he'll see her, and she doesn't even know what she was thinking when she wrote the letter, when she managed to convince Anne to help her get close to Sebastian earlier that night during supper, when she moved herself to sit in this corner just so she could watch him find and read the -

"Hello."

She nearly jumps out of her skin with a muffled shriek at the sound of his voice so close to her. Why does she feel almost guilty when she looks up at him? She's so, so afraid.

Emotions have never come easily to her. Showing them is something she's not sure will ever come naturally - Anne and Imelda can laugh and shout without a care in the world, but she always holds herself back. Hides a small part of herself away, that only she knows about. Baring herself completely to Sebastian in the letter she feverishly wrote the day before was like ripping out a part of her soul and giving it to him to keep. Once the words were written down, there was no way to take them back, not that she wants to.

But what if he rejects her?

Her eyes get hot and tears cloud her vision as she stares up at him, still wringing her hands together over and over, feeling like she's positively going to burst with the force of the emotions roiling around inside of her. Why did she think this would be a good idea?

Now he's kneeling in front of her, holding her hands in his bigger, rougher ones - reminiscent of that fateful day so long ago in Divination when he had flustered her so - and a thumb is gently wiping away the big, fat tears she didn't even realize were rolling down her cheeks and she lifts her face from watching their intertwined hands and gazes tremulously into his eyes.

They are so, so gentle and warm and full of love, but the emotions are still too much for her and she can't stop crying for some unfathomable reason, so the kiss they share is wet and lovely and full of incredulous laughter.

"I love you too," he whispers between kisses, over and over again, until the words almost lose meaning - but these words could never lose their meaning when they come from him.

  In the years to come, they always bicker about who was the first to say it. Sebastian says that writing doesn't count - that his words are the ones that decide who is the victor in this small argument - but she always just smiles at his insistence, knowing that he's kept her letter tucked inside whatever book he's reading since it first fell onto his lap.

[lizardkingeliot]

i can't decide if i want to share another lil snippet of my rockstar lestat/photographer louis wip today or save it for wednesday again 🤔

[sochilll]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Kleinsen - Relationship Characters: Evan Hansen, Jared Kleinman Additional Tags: Getting Together, Sickfic, In a way Summary:

Evan ends up in the hospital for intense stomach pain and needs someone to take care of him

[mari-lair]

took me a while, but here is the new Aka chapter!

[saintmouthed]

going 16 kinds of insane over woe is me for i am lost btw........ the way you write is so unbelievably captivating. wow.....

trying and failing to answer this ask with any measurable amount of chill:

screaming, sobbing, and crying instead.

thank you! I love wimfial soooo bad and it always makes me want to eat glass (in the best, most positive way possible!) when people like it too, because it's such a special project to me. something about it feels a lot more like my original work, so it's fun to blend that "original Antler fic" voice with the "Antler fanfic" voice

(tbh, @eldritchw1tch called me out for having an accidental wimfial subtweet in chapter two of "right now you're mine" by naming a random side character "Echo or Eternity or Exegesis" lmao. I maintain this is not my fault and that these were the first three E words to come to my head. And you're talking to the dude who was once asked to name a bunch of words that start with A and stalled out after saying apotheosis, so you know it's true lmao.)

[honeykngdom]

hii just checking in to see if you’re okay 🫶🏻☀️

hi pal! I am alive and well -- just overly stressed about life lately, the way things are going, and overall, trying to sustain myself in this damn economy. I haven't had much time between getting ready for an upcoming wedding and my sister’s baby shower to do much of anything that brings me joy or fills my 'cup'. I very much appreciate someone checking in, though! it's nice to know I am not just writing for the algorithms >.<

[okaylikeschaewon]

Chapter 8: Changes

Male reader, ~5k words, too lazy to proofread this one

“Oh!” Kazuha gasped, her arms flying to her chest as if she had a heart attack. “I’m so sorry!”

“Fuck’s sake,” you muttered under your breath. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Here!” Kazuha ran over to the sink and grabbed a handful of paper towels, dabbing at your chest.

“Thanks, I got it,” you said, taking the paper towels from her hands.

Without missing a beat, she grabbed more and wet them at the sink before dabbing at the coffee on your shirt again.

“I said I got it.”

“It’ll stain if you’re not quick,” she ignored you, frantically dabbing away.

“Zuha!” you raised your voice just slightly while grabbing her wrists. “I got it, relax.”

“Sorry, I was just trying to help,” she responded with a tinge of worry, or perhaps fear in her voice - it was difficult to interpret.

Her reaction hurt to see, you didn’t intend to frighten her. After letting out a small sigh, your shoulders drooped.

“You alright?” you asked gently, tossing the paper towels onto the counter and placing an arm around her waist. You stared directly into her eyes, and she returned the softest of gazes back at you, essentially melting your heart right there on the spot. “I feel like this is the first time you’ve made eye contact with me in three days.”

“Well…” she froze.

“Hey, don’t stress it,” you reassured her, giving her a little squeeze.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor.

It was a complete spur of the moment decision, it just felt right - you leaned forward and kissed her softly on her forehead. She jolted slightly, eyes shooting back up to yours, mouth slightly agape. The two of you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Her dark, dewy eyes locked onto yours, that unrelenting gaze.

“Kazuha-” you started before pausing at the sound of her heavy sigh.

“Can we talk?” she asked quietly.

“Of course.”

—

“Did you do it?”

“I did.”

“Oh my God!” Chaewon squealed, grabbing your arm and sitting you onto her bed. “How was it? How was she?”

Before answering her, you grabbed her arm back and pulled her onto you, letting your back hit the mattress. You grabbed the back of Chaewon’s head and forcefully pushed your mouth against hers, kissing her as if your life depended on it.

“I love you.”

“That was unexpected,” Chaewon giggled in front of your face. “I love you, too.”

As soon as the words escaped her lips you had already started kissing her again. Your hands snaked around the back of her neck and her back, holding her body as close to yours as you could while you made out with her soft lips.

“As much as I want to do this all day, I do actually want to hear about last night,” Chaewon chuckled, lifting herself up slightly.

This time you pulled her into a hug, gently stroking her soft hair as her head rested her cheek against your chest.

“What do you want to know?” you asked softly.

“How was her first time?”

“It was as perfect as I could have asked for,” you answered her before wrapping both arms around her body and hugging her tightly. “Just like you, as perfect as I could ever want.”

“Babe, if I knew you’d get this sentimental I would have had this happen way earlier,” Chaewon chuckled, hugging you back tightly.

“I just want you to know how much I love you, and that I’ll never let you go.”

“Hopefully you’re not being literal, because at some point I’ll need you to let go so I can live my life,” Chaewon giggled again before giving you a kiss on the cheek and sitting up. “Did you cum in her?”

“You sure you want details?” you sat up so that you were sitting facing Chaewon on the bed.

“You’re right, that’s between you and her.”

“Sweetheart, I promise I’m not trying to hide anything from you.”

“No no, some stuff should stay between the two of you,” Chaewon smiled warmly. “Thank you for doing this.”

“There’s no way you’re the one thanking me,” you laughed as you slid into the bedsheets. “I should be the one spending the next hour between your legs thanking you.”

“Is that an offer?” Chaewon smirked as she slid into the sheets next to you.

“I’d live the rest of my days between your legs if that’s what you wanted,” you replied while placing your arm around her, resting your hand on her ass.

“Tempting,” she giggled before giving you a short kiss on your mouth. “Well, I’m glad it went well.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Silly question, you already know the answer,” she smiled back at you.

“I get that you wanted this for her,” you continued. “But honestly, what do you get out of this… arrangement?”

Chaewon considered the question for a moment. Her expression hardly gave you any clue as to what she was thinking, so it was impossible to guess; Usually her face came with subtitles, but this time you picked up on nothing.

“I guess… the way she looks at you… I just wanted to make her happy,” Chaewon eventually answered. “I didn’t think it would bother me since I really do really love both of you.”

“Did it?” you asked directly.

“Did it what?”

“Chaewon.”

“It…” her lip began to quiver.

“Sweetheart,” you pulled her closer and rubbed her back. “What happened? You can tell me honestly.”

“Okay, well, truthfully there are times where I kinda feel like…” she trailed off before finishing her sentence.

“Babe, you feel like what?” you encouraged her to continue.

It took her a second and another heavy sigh before continuing.

“No, it’s stupid, I’m being stupid,” she continued.

“Whatever’s on your mind, you can tell me,” you reassured her. “I can tell something’s bothering you, please.”

“You’re also going to think it’s stupid.”

“I won’t.”

“It’s just, at times, maybe…” she paused again.

“Maybe?” you urged her to continue, trying your best to remain patient.

“Like maybe… I’m not enough for you…”

The thumping of your heart could be felt in your throat after that line. The immediate dejection that took over as you saw her lip quiver again was overwhelming, you felt like your heart was about to explode.

“Not enough for me?”

“Yeah.”

“What makes you feel this way?”

“I don’t know!” she snapped as tears began flowing down her face. “Sorry, I just don’t understand why it’s bothering me.”

“You don’t need to apologize for how you feel,” you said softly while rubbing her back gently. “Ever.”

“I don’t…” she tilted her head backwards, looking straight up at the roof, and laughed while wiping her eyes. “I swear I was fine with it, really I meant it when I said it’s fine and that I’m okay with you fooling around with her, that’s why I’m just so confused as to why it’s bothering me now.”

“Sweetheart,” you began gently. Her face turned to yours again, she stared at you with her reddened eyes, waiting for you to speak. “You’re allowed to change your mind, maybe you were fine with it before, but now you’re not.”

Chaewon nodded her head, still on the verge of tears, still waiting for you to continue.

“But I never want you to feel like you’re not enough for me,” you whispered, pressing down into her body with your hand.

“Then why are you so flirty with Zuha?” she asked quietly.

“Chaewon-”

“No, stop,” Chaewon began sobbing. “Now I feel like an asshole for pushing so hard for this to happen just to get upset about it.”

“You’re not-”

“I don’t know what got into me,” she sniffled, cutting you off again. “I promise I meant it when I said it was fine, I don’t know why I’m so emotional all of a sudden.”

It was difficult to figure out exactly what to say, and before you could even try thinking, Chaewon leaned forward and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

“I’m sorry for that, I’m good,” she stated unconvincingly as she turned back to you again, still clearly choked up. “I think I just felt bad for feeling this way, and when you were being so lovey-dovey it made me feel so stupid for ever doubting how much you love me.”

“Of course I love you, more than anything,” you sat up next to her, pulling her gently so she was sitting right next to you against the headrest. “But that doesn’t make these feelings stupid or invalid. Maybe you thought you’d be okay with it, but now that it happened you realized you’re not okay with it, and that’s completely fine.”

She nodded slightly.

“If anything, it’s stupid of me to have even considered it.”

“Don’t,” she replied firmly. “I was very adamant that you did it, you’re not allowed to blame yourself.”

“Okay fair,” you chuckled lightly, making sure to gauge her reaction. “Regardless, it’s an unorthodox situation, I don’t think placing blame is important.”

“I’m not trying to blame you.”

“And I’m saying there’s no reason to even think about blame right now, which means you can’t blame yourself either.”

“Okay,” she replied quietly as she leaned her head on your shoulder.

There was a very short pause before you continued.

“The flirting is just meaningless fun, but I never realized it bothered you.”

“It really doesn’t,” Chaewon replied quietly. “I was just trying to make sense of how I was feeling, I could never actually get upset at Zuha, I love that girl far too much.”

“It’s not an easy situation,” you replied before pressing your lips down on the top of Chaewon’s head, holding them there for a second before kissing her. “So, I guess the question is, what happens now?”

“I guess the first thing is that I should stop being over sensitive,” she said with a meek laugh.

“You’re not being over sensitive,” you argued. “If anything, I find it reassuring in a way.”

“It’s really not the physical part that ever bothered me,” Chaewon continued slowly. “Genuinely, you sleeping with Zuha doesn’t bother me at all, even now.”

“It’s okay if it does.”

“No, seriously,” Chaewon repeated firmly. “It was the dumb idea that you’d leave me that got to me.”

“I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know, I trust you,” she smiled. “If it really went as well as you said it did, I want you to sleep with her again.”

“What?” you coughed, not believing your ears. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to be okay with this.”

“And that’s exactly why I want you to do it,” she replied casually. “I can tell you don’t believe me when I say I’m fine with it.”

“I do believe you-”

“No you don’t,” Chaewon chuckled. “Especially not after this whole reaction.”

“Okay maybe a tiny part of me is a bit hesitant,” you admitted.

I get that,” she continued. “I don’t know how else to convince you, though.”

“Why do you need to convince me?” you asked.

“Because, you big dummy, I’m the one who told you to sleep with her,” Chaewon snuggled up next to you again. “Until I’m convinced you believe me when I say it’s okay, you have to keep sleeping with her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put you in this situation otherwise.”

“I don’t know about this,” you hesitated.

“I’m going to tell her you didn’t have a good time, then,” Chaewon threatened, looking at you.

“You wouldn’t dare do that to her,” you playfully gasped, knowing she’d never even consider jokingly hurting Kazuha like that.

“Sure you wanna test that?” Chaewon replied dramatically. “Would you really risk it?”

“Sweetheart,” you started, shifting your tone to a much more serious one. “What if I don’t want to sleep with her?”

“Are you honestly telling me you don’t want to sleep with Kazuha?”

“If there’s any chance it would hurt you, yeah that’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

She paused for a second, contemplating your words deeply.

“I’m telling you it won’t hurt me, now do you still refuse to sleep with her? Do you not find her attractive?”

“I mean… I…”

“Do you love her?” Chaewon asked suddenly.

“Not like that,” you answered immediately. “You’re the only person I love like that.”

“Then just do it,” she added quietly. “For me.”

“What a fucking deal,” you mumbled, your mind suddenly thinking about Kazuha again. “I love you so much.”

“To be clear, this doesn’t mean you stop sleeping with me, I’m still your girlfriend,” Chaewon replied sternly. “And I love you, too.”

“Even better,” you laughed. “But wait, what if Kazuha doesn’t want to-”

“I don’t think you’ll need to worry.”

“Why not? She was pretty quiet during the drive back this morning, maybe she didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought she did.”

“She did.”

“How can you…” you started before it hit you. “She already told you how it went.”

“I got a text that same night,” Chaewon giggled. “I just wanted to hear your side of it.”

“What did she say?”

“Ask her yourself,” Chaewon teased before turning her back.

Your mind began imagining all the possibilities those texts could say as you snuggled up behind Chaewon. You gave her a playful slap on her ass before wrapping her up in your arms.

“Fine, I’ll ask her later, I’m going back to bed.”

“Lazy bum, I gotta go soon, are you not coming with?” Chaewon asked as she playfully pressed her backside into your crotch.

“I barely slept at all last night.”

“Too busy staring at Kazuha?”

“I’d say it was worth it,” you yawned, feeling the blood starting to rush to your crotch as Chaewon’s ass pushed against you. “When you say soon, how soon are we talking?”

“Too soon to do what you’re thinking.”

“You sure about that?” you whispered into her ear as you wrapped an arm around her body and slipped your hand between her legs. “It could be quick.”

“Certain,” Chaewon giggled, squeezing her legs together to trap your hand.

“I’m getting mixed signals here.”

“Figure it out.”

“Let go of my hand and I’ll convince you to show up late to whatever you have going on.”

Chaewon spread her legs enough for you to regain control of your hand, but before you could react she had already jumped out of the bed.

“Sorry, you’re not convincing enough,” she teased, running over to her closet to get changed. “Try again next time.”

“Come on,” you whined. “You can’t just get me all excited just to leave.”

“I can,” Chaewon replied without evening looking back at you as she took her outfit out of the closet.  “You can jerk off while I change,” she teased, bending over extra deep as she took her shorts off, tossing them at your face before putting her sweatpants on.

“That’s not fun.”

“Make it fun,” Chaewon took off her oversized shirt, putting on a fitted crop top. “There’s a plug in the top drawer, shove it up your ass.”

“Since when do you have a plug?” you chuckled, calling out her bluff.

“It vibrates,” she replied, winking at you before walking to the door. “I’ll be back in like two hours, love you!”

“Love you, too,” you replied back as she closed the door behind her.

—

When you woke up, Chaewon was still gone. There was an obnoxiously adorable pink sticky note decorated with hand-drawn hearts on the side table with your name written on the top. Next to it, a glass of water and a small piece of chocolate.

Had to go back to the office, come visit when you wake up sleepyhead.

So it seemed Chaewon came back and left already. It didn’t even occur to you how tired your body must have been for you to sleep through that; Hopefully Kazuha was doing better than you today. You got out of Chaewon’s bed feeling refreshed and walked over to her bathroom. Here, you found more confirmation that Chaewon stopped by as there was a very distinct outline of her lips drawn in lipstick on your cheek.

“Silly girl,” you mumbled to yourself before wiping it off.

The drive over to the office was relatively uneventful. You had stopped by a bakery to pick up a little treat for Chaewon, returning the small gesture she left you earlier. Once you arrived, you barely had three minutes to speak with your girlfriend.

“I’m sorry, I have no idea when we’ll be done tonight,” Chaewon sighed, giving you a quick hug after the rest of the members left the two of you alone.

“Don’t worry, I know how this works,” you reassured her, handing her the little paper bag. “You’re all sweaty.”

“That’s not what I wanna hear,” she complained as she looked into the bag. “It’s because I’m working hard.”

“I bet you are,” you leaned forward and gave her a little peck on the cheek. “What’s your plan tomorrow?”

“More of this,” Chaewon sighed. “Idol work never really ends, I think we have a variety shooting tomorrow.”

“Which means I won’t see you all day.”

“I’m sorry babe,” Chaewon placed her arms on your shoulders. “I’ll text you during every break.”

“No, it’s fine, I can go one day without talking to you,” you jokingly sniffled, pretending to wipe a tear from your eye.

“Don’t do that,” she whined, pouting at you. “I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m just kidding,” you smiled at her, giving her a little pat on her butt. “Text me when you get home?”

“Of course.”

“By the way, was Kazuha acting a little odd just now?”

“I didn’t really notice anything, why?”

“Hmm, it’s probably nothing,” you shook your head slightly. “Alright, get back to your hard work before you get in trouble.”

“I’m blaming you if I do,” Chaewon gave you one last kiss before scurrying away to catch up with the rest of the girls.

—

Just as you predicted, there was no opportunity to meet up with Chaewon the next day. Luckily you had a small buildup of work that kept you occupied throughout the day. You did end up texting her as much as you could, but you knew she was busy so you tried to be as supportive as you could. Overall, the day went by smoothly, and before you knew it you were getting ready to sleep. Then, just as you were about to get ready to get into bed, your phone rang.

“Hello cutie,” you answered the Facetime call.

“Hey, just got home,” Chaewon replied, smiling at you. “Why are you topless?”

“I was about to sleep,” you answered. “Why aren’t you topless.”

There was a collective ‘eww’ that rang through the phone immediately.

“I didn’t realize you weren’t alone,” you laughed as Chaewon shook her head with a smile. “Hey girls.”

A slurry of greetings came through the phone as Chaewon turned the camera around to show the rest of the group waving at you.

“Why aren’t you here!” Yunjin shouted from the back. “What kind of boyfriend are you!”

“She told me not to come!”

“Way to throw me under the bus,” Chaewon glared at you as the girls started teasing her.

“It’s true though.”

“Don’t make me hangup,” she threatened as she walked up the stairs to her room. “And to think, I was actually going to take my shirt off.”

“Wait no-”

“I guess I’ll just go to sleep,” Chaewon exaggerated a sigh. “I am pretty tired after all, long day.”

“Chaewon, stop teasing.”

“What, you still want me to take my shirt off?” she asked innocently as she jumped into her bed. “Say please.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” you chuckled. “How was your day?”

“Exhausting,” Chaewon sighed for real, putting the phone down next to her on the bed. “You free tomorrow? I still have to go to the office, but I’ll have way more time to chill.”

“I could probably stop by after lunch.”

“That works,” Chaewon picked the phone back up, her bare shoulders in frame now. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you replied. “Want me to come spend the night?”

“No, I need to actually sleep.”

“Well yeah, that would be the plan.”

“We both know it wouldn’t work like that,” Chaewon giggled. “Not that I’d mind.”

“If that’s the case, maybe I actually will come over.”

“Just move in already.”

“Excuse me, aren’t you the one stopping that from happening?” you called her out.

“I changed my mind, I want you to fuck me every night,” Chaewon moaned into the phone.

“Don’t fucking do this to me,” you groaned. “Not when I’m here and you’re there.”

“I’m sorry babe, I’m just so…” she closed her eyes, mouth slightly agape. “So fucking wet.”

“Oh my God, stop teasing.”

Chaewon burst out giggling, loving the control she had over you.

“Come in!” Chaewon shouted, looking up from the phone.

“Hey, are my earbuds still in your bag?” a distant Kazuha’s voice came through.

“Oh yeah I forgot, they should be,” Chaewon answered. “On the chair, under my jacket.”

“Hey Kazuha!” you shouted through the phone.

Chaewon held the phone up for her.

“Oh! Hello!” Kazuha stuttered awkwardly. “I didn’t realize you were still on a call, I’ll leave you two alone!”

“Goodnight Zuha,” Chaewon called out, pointing the phone back to her face as Kazuha closed the door behind her.

“Did that seem weird to you?”

“What?”

“That interaction, she just seemed kinda… different?”

“I think you might be overthinking it,” Chaewon yawned.

“She seemed a bit off yesterday when I stopped by, too.”

“She’s probably just tired.”

“Maybe…” you began thinking.

“You think it has something to do with the other night?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really talked to her about it,” you answered. “Has she said anything to you?”

“Nope, but we’ve also been incredibly busy these last couple days.”

“RIght, whatever I’ll figure it out later. You should probably get some sleep.”

“So you’re going to make me take off my clothes for you and then just leave me?” Chaewon puffed out her cheeks, letting the phone drop just enough so you could see a bit of her bare chest.

“I’ll drive over right now.”

“Goodnight, love you,” Chaewon giggled while hanging up the phone.

—

Just as you promised, you showed up to the office the next day after finishing your work. Since you ended up running late and missing lunch, you decided to indulge yourself in the HYBE cafeteria. The food was phenomenal, a convenient perk of having Chaewon’s guest pass, and since it was a late lunch there was no one around to bother you.

After finishing your meal, you went and found where the girls were. Today was a light day, they were just practicing the choreo for some of the b-sides of their album, keeping it light as a sort of rest day. You quietly snuck into the dance studio, taking a seat on the couch in the back of the room. The girls, professional as can be, didn’t even miss a beat when you walked in and finished the routine.

As the final note of the song played, they finally dropped their ending poses and let out sighs of relief. A couple of them dropped straight to the floor, sitting or laying down, while the rest walked over to you.

“The days just get longer and longer,” Yunjin sighed, falling onto the couch before looking at you. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad, yourself?” you answered.

“Tired.”

“It’s just for a bit more,” Sakura chimed in from the other couch. “And come on, today was pretty fun.”

“A nap would be pretty fun,” Yunjin joked.

“Oh great idea, let’s all nap!” Chaewon agreed excitedly as she sat down next to you.

“Come on, where is the energy!” Sakura laughed. “This is the first easy day we’ve had in so long, go drink some coffee or something!”

“Coffee too far,” Chaewon whined, leaning on you. “Nap instead.”

“Yeah, nap instead,” Yunjin agreed.

“It’s literally down the hall, look, those two are going,” Sakura shook her head in disbelief before staring at herself in the mirror and repeating a few of the motions.

“I love that part,” you commented as you watched her dance. “You always nail the expressions so damn perfectly, even when you’re practicing you always stay consistent.”

“Oh, thank you,” Sakura paused to look at you before immediately turning away to hide the subtle blush on her cheeks.

“Why don’t you compliment me like that,” Chaewon poked you in your side.

“Someones in trouble,” Yunjin sang while scrolling through her phone.

“I do compliment you like that, like, all the time,” you replied, wrapping your arm around her.

“Not enough,” Chaewon grumbled. “And you didn’t get me coffee.”

“Do you want me to get you coffee?”

“No, it’s fine,” she exhaled with a superfluous ‘hmph’. “Clearly you don’t want to, and I only want it if you want to get me coffee.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” you chuckled, giving Chaewon a playful pat on her hip. “I’ll get the coffee, be back in a minute.”

—

“Does this work?” Kazuha asked, opening the door to a conference room. “I don’t think anyone will bother us here.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you answered, walking into the room and taking a seat at the table.

Kazuha walked around the table, sitting on the chair next to you. She waited a beat before deciding to stand back up and move the chair closer to you.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

That was a lot more upfront than you expected.

“It’s okay,” you replied gently, placing a hand on her thigh. “I figured you just needed time, and that’s totally okay.”

“I did,” Kazuha agreed with a nod, staring at your hand. “Ever since that night, I’ve felt… differently towards you.”

“Understandable, it’s not a small thing to do,” you replied, encouraging her to continue.

Kazuha looked up from her lap into your eyes.

“I think I’m starting to have feelings for you.”

The silence was palpable. It almost felt like you could feel your heart in your throat. You were at a loss for words; This playful, silly girl who would constantly tease you, constantly mess with you, it was already so rare to see her soft side, but hearing this completely threw you for a loop.

“Zuha,” you started cautiously. “Please don’t take this as me dismissing your feelings, but I’m just saying sometimes these things can be complicated. We did just go through a big event together.”

“It’s not just the sex,” she replied quietly, her eyes starting to shine. “I’ve been feeling something towards you for a while.”

“I understand, but I’m in a committed relation-”

“I know,” Kazuha interjected. “And I would never try to ruin that for either of you.”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

“It’s just how… I feel…” she continued, pausing before adding more in a whisper. “I can’t help it.”

“Zuha, I do have a lot of love for you, but not in that way.”

“That doesn’t-” she stopped, getting choked up for a moment.

“Come here,” you whispered, standing up and pulling her into a hug. “It’ll be alright.”

Both of you held the embrace for probably a minute in silence. Kazuha let out a single sniffle before letting go of you, standing there in front of you. She looked so vulnerable, so delicate in this moment, it was difficult to come up with the next words.

“Zuha-”

The world barely escaped your lips before suddenly Kazuha leaned forward and kissed you. At first, you were in shock - but you didn’t pull back. The tenderness of her lips felt perfect in this moment, the softness of her kiss, the gentle way her hands grabbed your body. It went on for a few seconds before she pulled back, staring at you in anticipation for what would happen next.

What did end up happening next was something you really couldn’t explain. You wrapped your arms around her and started kissing her again. This time it was still just as tender and loving as before, but also significantly more passionate. Your noses brushed against each other’s faces, hands exploring each other’s bodies. Your lips remained glued together.

With your leg, you kicked the chair behind Kazuha away, still with your lips attached to hers. Slowly, you pressed forward harder until Kazuha was bending backwards; You pushed forward until she was laying on the massive conference table. Carefully, you leaned over her, kissing her soft lips repeatedly, squishing against her tenderness.

She began clawing at your back, feeling your body while your hands explored the sides of hers. Even through her thin shirt her perfectly sculpted body that she worked so hard for could be felt, and it felt amazing. The kiss kept going, her legs sort of wrapped around your hips and her hands moved up, cupping your face.

After what felt like an eternity, you leaned back, letting her fingers gently stroke your cheeks as you stood up in front of her. She looked up at you for a second, her hair spread on the table, before lifting herself up so that she was sitting on the table in front of you with her legs still spread around your body. You took a step back, giving her space to hop off the table.

She stared at you with an expressionless face. There was yet another pause, neither of you knew what to say. The two of you simply inhaled and exhaled, almost in unison. You could hear your heart beating in your chest, and in a way you almost felt like you could hear hers beating, too. It was Kazuha who decided to break the silence with a whisper.

“I’m going to go.”

Those were the last words spoken in the room before she scurried away. Nothing made sense right now. You simply stood there in the empty conference room, staring at the door that Kazuha had just exited through, not understanding fully what just happened.

---

A/N:

Did I just write a chapter WITHOUT A SEX SCENE? Wow, look at that, it's like the title of this one is partially about the story and partially about me. So yeah, I'm kinda more interested in writing some more stuff like this and pulling back a tiny bit on the sex. I've written plenty of raw smut scenes throughout my works, if anyone is really craving that they can just go reread or something. This does NOT mean that I'm never writing a sex scene in this story by the way.

Let me know what you guys think! The story is going to probably get much more spicy in the immediate future as I play with this love triangle (or is it a square?) dynamic. Who knows what I'll do (I do). If anyone is invested enough into this story to hit me with some predictions, do it up, I adore reading theories! Or any comments to be honest, I always welcome them.

[nuria-schnee]

Hi, everyone! ❤️

When I said I might write this, I didn't think I'd be going so insane over it, but here we are. The brainrot is strong, and I'm determined to create as much as I can. I love the series with all my heart, and I love this beautiful fandom, and what happened won't stop us, dammit.

I was so angry and sad yesterday that ideas didn't stop coming, and before I knew I had most of the fic outlined and was already working on the screencaps for it.

Anyway, this is my attempt to write the season we deserved. I wanted to bring a bit of content in this hard time for all of us. I hope it works, even if only for a bit. This is just a preview, but I wanted to share even so.

A bit of information

Publication date of the 1st chapter: September 14th

I'll update every two weeks (hopefully)

Every chapter will be an "episode"

Every Wednesday I'll be sharing a "sneak peek" of the next chapter here on Tumblr, so you don't have to wait so long

Every chapter will have a playlist.

I'll be sharing the screencaps of the chapters as the story goes. No spoilers in them, don't worry.

The work on AO3 is already posted, in case someone wants to subscribe already and get the notification when I post the first chapter. Now, there's only an index with what I'm sharing on Tumblr, and I'll update it regularly.

Don't forget to take care of yourselves ❤️ See you very soon!

Transcriptions of the summary and chapters below the cut!

Summary

Ghosts are going missing all around London. The disappearances lead Edwin and Charles directly to a mysterious entity, known as The Summoner, that is about to make their afterlives very complicated.

Chapters

The Case of the Flashing Light: Months after returning from Port Townsend, the Dead Boy Detectives find themselves overloaded with cases of ghosts disappearing all around London. As they investigate this mystery, someone seems to be trying to catch Edwin's attention through the agency's mirror.

The Case of the White Realm:

The Case of the Explosive Garden: Things are tense in the agency after the last case, but none of them wants to address it. They are too busy for that. The cases of missing ghosts are piling up on their desk and the Summoner is still out there, hidden in the shadows of the city, causing trouble. The boys manage to track him down and end up in an enchanted mansion, where nothing is what it seems.

 The Case of the Ghostly Masquerade

 The Case of the Blurred Painting

 The Case of the 80s Deathday Party

 The Case of the Star-Crossed Lovers

 The Case of the Dark Void

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ where he finds home ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ you and your daughter have managed to fall into a comfortable pattern of life with logan by your sides, but your ex shows up one night to stir up some trouble and the wolverine isn’t having any of it┊2.9k words; prt one, prt two (here), prt three (coming soon)

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: hurt/comfort? mostly fluff, ooc logan probably, single mother reader with an unspecified age but still younger than logan, this chapter is mostly in your perspective, asshole exes, rushed ending what, but love confessions & getting together isn’t that cute

➤ author's note: alright, part two of the single mom! reader & her daughter!! the amount of support i’ve had on this was overwhelming, so sorry that this chapter isn’t on par with the first one, hopefully the next one will be better!

ever since that night, logan found himself rarely going a single day without interacting with you or your daughter. he can’t explain the force that seems to pull him towards the two of you, but he can easily realize that the sheer magnitude of it overpowered the little voice in the back of his head spewing pessimistic comments about how this couldn’t possibly end well just like everything else in his life did. his little made-up rule not to get attached is thrown out the window every time he sees either of you, reminding him that one simply cannot fight against the impossible no matter how much of a hardened killing machine he used to be. how could he try to avoid these feelings when they seemed to fill the hole in his heart until it was bursting at the seams with affection as if it was as easy as the apple pie you sometimes baked to share?

besides, even if he tried to hide this rapidly growing fondness, it’s not like anyone would have let him: not when wade keeps on offering to babysit while you’re at work, not when your baby has picked up the habit of running up to him to ask for hugs or to be picked up, not when you’re a sight for sore eyes as you follow up in the evening in your formal attire and pearls to pick her up, and especially not when althea keeps asking you when you two are getting married with the claim that she doesn’t need sight to see the chemistry happening at the dinner table. 

you’ll laugh and brush it off as the old lady watching too many romance films in her free time, but your cheeks are secretly burning in embarrassment at how literally everyone can tell that you’re crushing like a high schooler in your grown age except for the subject of your fancy. 

logan himself is pretty difficult to read, but thankfully, his roommates are open-book, blunt to a fault, and willing to tell you anything and everything you need to know whether or not you even asked. for example, they confirmed he did indeed have a soft spot for you and your daughter, one that made them howl with laughter as they bully him relentlessly for it (feel free to tell them that they shouldn’t because he’s just being nice, they aren’t going to listen to you). he tries his best to refrain from swearing within earshot, not even under his breath on the off-chance she will hear it and pick it up. he fixes his appearance whenever he knows he’ll see you in an attempt to look more approachable. he never cares to listen to the ongoing conversations about other friends, but he’ll lean in a little closer if it’s about you. he even buys toys or stuffed animals on occasion because he thinks of her when he sees them.

you probably shouldn’t be thinking about these things during such a busy moment of your life when you’re focused on raising your daughter, getting that job promotion in the bag, and finally agreeing to take your ex to court for him to take responsibility by paying child support. although he’s as kind as a man who is as gruff and rugged as he can be, he’s still an older man (both chronologically and biologically) who is a mutant superhero with powers you were still unaware of. it’s not you questioning if he’s safe to be around, it’s you questioning if it’s in his best interest to have a family with all that going on (especially if he wanted to play father to a toddler who had no blood relation to him. playing uncle is one thing, but father? you can never be sure).

still, you would be lying if you said that seeing him being so tender and sweet with your daughter didn’t stir up a domestic image in your mind. a girl could only dream, right? 

recently, he’s been showing up at your doorstep with a toolbox in hand every other day. you’ve been complaining lately about how nothing under your roof seems to work anymore and every time you inform the landlord, you get a half-assed job that falls apart within the span of a week: the pipes are leaking, the windows refuse to open, the gas stove won’t start, and there are also other things you never got around to fixing yourself like a wobbly desk or putting together a little bed for your baby since she’s outgrown her crib.

the conversations usually go a little something like:

“oh, you really don’t need to—”

“no, no, i insist— it’s not like i have anything better to do, and i’ll do a much better job than whatever the fuck those maintenance men have been doing anyways.” he’ll purse his lips at the unintentional curse word which slipped and then push past you. “anyway, which windows have been giving you trouble?”

it takes him an hour maximum to work his magic, always leaving behind something fully functional and stable enough to last for years. you’ll compliment his handy skills and try to push a wad of cash into his hands, but he refuses it every single time. you can’t match his stubborn personality for more than a few minutes, so you’ll sigh and offer him to stay for dinner instead because you refuse to let him go home empty-handed after helping you out so generously. 

while you’re busy rummaging through your pantry and fridge for ingredients to cook something of varying degrees of complexity each time, your daughter will make an appearance to keep logan occupied because you refuse to allow anyone to enter your kitchen ever since that incident with wade. yes, he is more careful and mature, no, you’re not taking any chances. 

tonight, she’s playing forcing him to play with an assortment of dolls. he’s never done this before, and it looks so awkward to see a grown-ass six-foot-two man holding a little blonde barbie limply in his hand without any idea what the setting is or the storyline or the characters supposed to be played, but your girl was smiling and cheerfully babbling something barely legible every time he played along so he wasn’t about to complain about it. 

you hummed a tune while slicing thin slices of beef, completely on autopilot and enjoying the night of peace. the doorbell suddenly rang throughout your apartment and you rushed to wash off your hands before wiping them off with a dishrag, assuming it was one of his roommates. who else could the unannounced visitor be at eight-thirty in the evening?

the smile on your face immediately dropped when you saw the unusually unkempt appearance of your ex-fiancé, reeking of booze with his hair sticking out a little past his ears and rough stubble lining his jaw. before you could even say something, he rudely pushed past you and stood in the center of the unfamiliar space. maybe it was for the best since he definitely would have caused a massive commotion in the hallway and disturbed the neighbors who didn’t need to be subjected to your personal issues. your daughter had fallen silent and stared at him in a mix of confusion and something else that was unreadable yet clearly not joyous in any way. 

the entire world seemed to stop for a moment as you held your breath in anticipation of his next move, wondering if he was going to be amiable or (more likely) stir some trouble to disturb the peace. your eyes met with logan’s and you shifted your gaze to the hallway entrance for a split second to signal him to bring your daughter into her bedroom, sparing her the scare that would come when her father would inevitably lash out. 

he understood immediately and picked her up in a single swift motion, “come on, bub, it’s time to go to bed.” his hand rested her head on his shoulder and she appeared to be okay, just wide-eyed with her thumb in her mouth, almost as if she could recognize the gravity of the situation despite barely being able to comprehend such things. 

“it’s only been a few months, and you’re already living with another man…:

“it’s actually almost been a year, but what are you even doing here? i thought you had a wedding to plan.”

“... wedding’s been canceled…”

“aw, really?” you could already tell where this was going. althea told you plenty of times that once he saw how much better you were doing without him while his life quickly tumbles down a slope, he would come crawling back. she made you promise on your life that you wouldn’t take him back no matter what, whether he begged on his knees promising he’ll be better or revealed he was the new ceo of amazon with riches beyond your imagination. you didn’t quite understand her concerns because the thought of it never crossed your mind once, but she just tutted and reminded you that love was unpredictable before revoking her statement when she remembered you wouldn’t get back together with your ex when the wolverine was on the table.

“she was seeing someone else…”

“well, well, well, you know what they say, ‘karma’s a bitch.’ it’s about time you got a taste of your own medicine, you cheating bastard.”

he took a step towards you and you flinched in response, making the other man standing in the shadows straighten his posture. he was never physically abusive, but you had no idea how he would behave under the influence. “you know she was the reason everything fell apart…”

“oh, don’t try to pin the blame on her when you were the one who was about to get married and you were the one who made the choice to abandon her family. good on her for leaving, and you should do the same.”

“do you ever think there would be anyone who would love you like i did? i was your first, and there isn’t anyone else who would take you as is. hell, i don’t even think the other guy will be around for much longer—”

“alright, i’ve had enough of this.” logan came forward from his spot in the shadows, getting closer to your ex until he was clearly intimidated by his looming figure and threatening aura. it’s the first time you’ve seen such a dangerous edge to him, yet strangely enough, you still felt safe knowing he was acting in your defense (if it was any other man, you probably would have kicked them both out before it could escalate). “get out of here.”

“can’t believe this,” he spat, turning his head to look back at you, “you bitch—”

he grunted at the insult, feeling more pissed off about it being directed at you rather than him, promptly throwing a punch into his face and gripping onto his collar before he could stumble over. an unfamiliar *schlikt* sound was heard before your eyes managed to process the long metal claws mere inches away from gouging out your ex’s eyes, making you gasp quietly in shock.

“okay! okay! i’m leaving!”

“i’ll escort you out,” he growled, still not letting go of him as he shoved him out of the door and closed it behind him, wanting to make sure that he would never come to bother you like this ever again and also drag him to apartment security to ensure they understood not to let him in ever again. 

then once he was gone, logan stood outside in the slight cold for a moment wondering what to do next. he just revealed his true nature to you that he’s been trying so hard to suppress: violent and animalistic. he should just prepare to hear you say that you are now scared of him, that you would prefer it if he didn’t come over anymore and to stay away from you and your daughter. 

the worst part is that he can’t even blame you, and a part of him feels like this was for the best. he was stupid to hope for a peaceful domestic with two human civilians when he was a mutant through and through. still, his heart drops at the thought of your eyes looking at him with fear rather than the usual caring, gentle look that made him forget all of his pain.

there was more impending doom weighing on him as he stalked up the stairs than there ever was for certain death missions.

his hyper-sensitive hearing easily picked up the sound of a baby crying, one that he immediately recognized as your daughter’s. he slowed his pace to hear you trying desperately to calm her down.

“oh, oh, shh, i know, i know,” you sighed, “god, logan, please hurry back…” he practically ran when he heard that, bursting through the door and rushing into the nursery which was in the process of being turned into a proper bedroom. there were slight tears pricking at your eyes when you looked at him, “sorry, can you put her to sleep? s-she won’t stop crying…”

“it’s okay, it’s okay, i got it,” he assured, taking her off your hands and soothingly patting her on the back, “please stop crying, you’re breaking your momma’s heart.”

after a minute or so, her high-pitched wails gradually quieted down, falling asleep in his strong arms and allowing him to place her in her little bed which was newly constructed by him just a few days ago. you led him out of the room, being careful not to make any sudden noises so as to not wake her again, and returned to the living room where it all started.

“i’m sorry you had to do all that,” you groaned, placing a palm on your forehead in a poor attempt to ease the forming headache. “i really don’t know what i would have done without you…”

“don’t apologize, i’m happy to help… but i completely understand if you don’t want to see me ever again…” he wasn’t sure why he brought it up when you didn’t even say anything about it, but perhaps he wanted to get the inevitable over with because this conversation would have happened sooner or later.

“what? why would i never want to see you again when you just saved me from my ex?” you asked, genuinely confused as you moved to pour out two glasses of wine and plopped down onto the couch with your head thrown back. “is it because of the claws? i don’t really care about that stuff— i mean wade runs around with at least one knife and gun on him at all times. besides, it’s not like you can’t control them, they only came out because you were trying to protect me…”

“well, yes, but—”

“logan, i really don’t care that you’re a mutant or a former killer or whatever— you’re a superhero who runs around in yellow spandex, fights evil, and is the only one who can get my daughter to sleep most of the time— i trust you.”

“... you do?”

“of course, i do,” you reach out and motion him to join you, leaning against his frame and feeling all of your stress dissipate at the contact. “i trust you with my life and you’ll always have a home here, i want you to know that..”

logan was silent for a moment, trying to remember the last time he heard words along those lines. “i don’t know if you mean that…”

“of course, i do, why wouldn’t i? although…”

“although?”

“i… i don’t think i could handle being just friends for much longer.” you cringed at your own words, sounding like a fucking teenager who was confessing to her first love. something straight out of a cheesy romance movie, or as deadpool would say, straight out of a fanfiction written by a lonely teenager who is trying to move the plot along and finish up. “god, that was so stupid—”

“well, no one said we had to be ‘just friends.’”

you looked at him ludicrously, “really? do you mean that?”

“i mean… if you’re okay with an old man who has adamantium claws in his knuckles…”

“are you okay with a lady who’s a single mom?”

“i think mine is a lot worse than that. sweetheart,” he chuckled, returning to the light-hearted tone. “so… does that mean i can kiss you?” 

you hummed, “of course, you can.”

even with your spoken consent, he still seemed a little hesitant when his hand found its way to the back of your head and he stared deeply into your eyes. his gaze was honestly a bit overwhelming since you’ve never seen anyone else look at you that way before, making you wonder if this was how to felt to be truly desired as a person.

you leaned forward to finish the kiss for him, a quick peck at first, then a deeper one that carried all of the bottled-up feelings from the previous few months. it wasn’t anything too crazy, yet it felt like your very first kiss all over again, clumsy and inexperienced. when you finally separated from him, you pressed your nose against his and giggled, “spend the night?”

“i thought you would never ask.”

tag list: @natsukitakama @fandomxo00 @wolflover-20 @dannsparrow @honestlysublimecherryblossom @acescutejeans-1247 @burkayyy @hotmesshobbit

[myokk]

Eloise🥹💓

[criibibi]

Synopsis: After losing so much, Spider-woman learns to just keep moving. Only for her to end up somewhere far from home. Her first agenda is figuring out where she is, and how to get back. The only problem is that she ended up somewhere fictional (to her). Playing hero with Batman was not in her bingo cards this year. Hopefully she will be able to make it back home before she catches unwanted attention.

Masterlist: Prev; Next;

Chapter 4 - Calm Before the Storm

With the beginning of a new day it was like the calm before the storm. You stood up pretty late at night, making your way to a center, luckily they didn’t push for information knowing your situation is a dime a dozen around these parts.

Thank god. Though you did debate giving them your name or even a nickname, you decided against it. After all, you’re not staying here long term, you don’t need to cement your name here. Not as a civilian, or as spider-woman.

You shouldn’t even be here. You don’t belong here.

After having a fresh meal, bless the hearts of the passionate people out there giving out kindness like air, fix yourself up, and return to your makeshift home to decompress.

The cold air nipping at your face cools you off, making you vigilant of your surroundings. Quiet, a bit too quiet. Gotham isn’t known for its silence after all. Pushing the uncomfortable feelings aside, you decide to call it a night.

Making significant progress on your watch became your saving grace. The anchor of your sanity.

So the first thing you did in the morning was quickly get a nice breakfast at a shelter before dedicating your time to building the beacon until nightfall.

The voices in your head were getting restless so you even fixed up a radio you found in the piles of junk just to have a noise buzz in the background.

Days, you spent days inside this safezone you made a shelter out of. Two days to be exact. With how limited and unlimited your resources are, you had no time to waste. You had your own world to get back to, and help Miguel stop the Spot. Every day you spend here is costing you so much already. But you keep going, because you know you’re making progress.

Your routine was mostly some time in the morning, eat and wash up at any center, and go straight back to the junkyard. Snack for lunch and for dinner, back at another center. You make sure to hop around so as to not draw attention or to get familiar with anyone.

You don’t belong. Pretender, faker, liar, fraud, phony, sham.

You know that better than anyone else. You feel like a fraud. This world is like a different color pallet, monochromatic to you. You can’t stain this world with your presence.

You’re getting nauseous just thinking about it.

When taking some semblance of a break, you usually take walks to calm your mind in the morning, where crime is least likely to occur. And so far, you’re right!

Though there were a few (three) instances of muggers, and a drug dealer. Though you did stop (and robbed) them, but not as spider-woman, just as normal (fake) civilian you.

Those were the one’s just in your way or happening to you. Other than that, you have not put on the spider-woman suit to fight crime.

Why would you?

You were about to return home soon, if everything ends well. And it seems like luck is on your side since you have not caught a glimpse or heard any of the batsonas nearby. This also gave you hope.

So, how do you celebrate your near completion of your super secret science project?

Well, with ice-cream and a place of destination for your super secret science project!

So off to the library you go!

Finishing your ice-cream, you take in a breath of the polluted air of Gotham and make your way towards the library.

It was silent, and tranquil. Something you weren’t able to feel for some time. No big baddies escaping Arkham, no terrorist attacks, no bombing threats, no bat encounters, nothing. Just silence, and peace. And you embrace it with everything you have.

Your constant tense body finally felt itself ease as your stress levels went down.

Entering the library and once again greeting the librarian, you made your way back to the same seat you did days ago. With a clear mind, you browse the maps and possible locations for your beacon.

Finding a couple of very good locations, you made sure to memorize the landmarks and streets so you can pick the closest one.

You were giddy! Basically shaking in excitement. Tonight is the night! You just need to tweak a few things and you would be good to go! You would finally have a signal that can ping your location! And if you have time, you will be able to message Miguel through your signal.

With excitement, you quickly left the library and made your way back to the junkyard. Days of your blood sweat and tears, will all finally pay off your desperation to go back home.

Just a couple of adjustments.

Running into the warehouse, you turned on the radio and began to work.

Hours upon hours and you finally managed to get something done. It might have looked like a baby’s school robotics science project but hey! Ya got something at least!

You made something fast, not pretty.

Now, to connect his baby to a power source that won’t reveal your location- god knows you don’t need the bats up on your ass. If you trusted this world more, maybe you would have gone to Batman/Bruce Wayne first. But you know that- one, that idea is garbage at best, that’s how you would most likely get your cute ass locked at Arkham. And two, you know for a fact that Batman doesn’t trust metahumans or something- and you having enhanced powers in your fucking DNA, makes you the paranoid one.

You don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, especially the Batman’s. It just boils down to, you don’t trust him or his brood of sidekicks. That and the fact that if you could do it by yourself then you will.

And you’re already doing it. Ha! Take that universe!

This was a job for spider-woman. Changing into your suit, you hurriedly carried your mini beacon, and soared through buildings to find an appropriate source of electricity. You know you don’t have the right technology (you’re using scraps for fuck sake) to create an effective and accurate signal, but with this little baby, you should be able to send out a general area ping.

This way, for anyone who is looking for you (you fucking hope so) they can lock into a general area of the multiverse.

You are holding onto hope you get discovered soon.

Landing on top of a random construction site, you made quick work setting your things up. Connecting the cable to your beacon, and one towards your watch, you use the last cable and walk over a power generator.

This is it, this is where you’ll finally finally have a semblance of a chance to leave this universe. You just want to go home. You don’t exist here, you checked when scrolling through the web.

Not someone who looks like you- or a spider-woman either. You don’t belong here, and you never had the intention to play pretend either. This world isn’t your problem and you aren’t needed. So, now you’ll ping your location and go home.

Your very own emergency distress signal.

You plug your cable in the generator and it causes a power surge.

You pray to be discovered.

-

“B! It’s happening again!” Oracle’s alarmed voice caused Batman to head out immediately. “But this time it’s different!”

“Same place?” Hopping into his batmobile he sped off. “Different how?”

“No, this time it’s in the Narrows. A construction site twenty minutes from your location. It’s pinging like crazy!” Oracle couldn’t understand what was happening.

It had been a regular Thursday night until she got a ping of another disturbance. Not quite the ‘quantum disturbance’ like a few days ago, but then it was the flickering power surge. She was quick this time, getting an accurate location and with Batman on the way, they’ll find out what this is.

“It’s definitely the same as a few days ago, but not big enough, not strong enough. Causing a power surge!”

The surge only lasted ten seconds. Ten seconds too long. Then silence and all the light and energy came flickering back in that area.

“Robin’s close, he’s on his way B.” As if nothing had happened. Oracle wasted no time in finding cameras to see the situation. But the ripple effect caused security cameras to shut down for the duration of the surge. “Shit. Cameras are down- can’t find anyone in or out.”

“Hm.” Batman grunted. This was a grunt of annoyance.

Upon arriving on the scene, Batman made his way through the partially completed construction site. There stood only one other figure, and it was Robin.

“There was no sign of the perpetrator when I got here.” He spoke, his fixed glare at the spot where the ping was the strongest. “I surveyed the surroundings, nothing.” Frustration was clear in his voice and clenched teeth.

This confirms what Oracle said through the comms.

Batman sighed. Whatever was here, left just as quickly. This means that whatever caused a quantum disturbance days ago, is still here. In his city. In Gotham. And when he finds them, he’ll make sure to squeeze out every bit of information they possess.

He won’t take any chances of possible alien life force coming and going as they please.

“We’re not completely at a loss.” His words caught Robin’s attention, so he continued. “That means whoever did this is still here. It wasn’t as big as the other one, which means the recreation was not enough. Whoever or whatever it is, is still here.”

Robin processed the information and affirmed. “Understood. Means they will try again. And soon.” Robin makes sure to ping this area as a priority zone.

Batman nodded. He will find whoever is behind this. No matter the costs.

Nothing will escape their watch.

-

“No! No no nonono!”

Just as you plugged in the cable to the generator a huge surge of power came through, quickly to find a connection.

Your watch sprang to life, a bright screen greeted you and quickly you sprung to action. Seeing the universe number glitch but readable.

Finding a smidgen of a connection, you started calling Miguel; it couldn't even connect.

You wanted to sob.

“Miguel! Miguel please please see this! Please please please!” Then the connection went out and the watch turned black.

You felt like your whole world was crashing down on you.

You tried, you really did try! You did your best. You have always done your best. But in the end, it seems that no matter how hard you fought or tried to fight, defend, and protect, it just was never enough. But you lost waaaaay too much to give up. Especially now.

You’ll get discovered soon. And not by the ones you want to meet. “Fuck!”

You couldn’t let this get to you. They might be coming. Quickly unplugging the cables you grab the beacon and swing away, using the night as your cover to make a grand escape.

After all, you still were able to at least find a connection, just not a strong one. Try again next time.

A fire grew inside you. That’s right, you’ll just try again, and this time make something better. As long as you weren’t caught you can still make something better. “Can’t give up.” You spoke through your tears. You’ll fix this, you have too. It’s just you against the world.

Just like Miguel, you’ll throw yourself into fixing things. Making it better.

The obsession of trying to make things right by any means necessary, broken and unbroken. Take things apart and build it back together again, same and before, or better, greater even.

A Tinkerer if you will. Anything to be useful, needed, wanted. And in order for you to feel that, you’ll build an even stronger signal. This time, you’ll make your watch better.

You know Hobie Brown knows how to build his own watch. You both do. Discussed it when Hobie casually said he missed your presence at times. So you’ll just upgrade yours.

Building a better beacon and upgrading your watch requires more material. So you’ll plan for the days ahead. You will learn from this failure. You have to. You need to.

Your greatest failures were failing to save Ben, protect May, and defend Peter, those you cared for the most. You can’t afford to fail this. You will make it back. It just seems that you’ll be stuck here just a tad bit longer.

“That’s okay… everything will be okay.” Your erratic mind becomes calm again.

You learned to take responsibility for your actions and mistakes, learned to accept the consequences and help others face their own, and finally to heal and move forwards, to hope. And right now, you’re hoping for a better outcome soon.

“I can do this.” Landing on the warehouse you climbed through a window, throwing your mask to the side, landing on your workbench. “I can do better.”

You were known as a dangerous spider. You have years of experience, years of trials and tribulations, you’re smart, curious, and compassionate. But you’re hungry, always hungry to learn more, to consume knowledge. You use what you learn and become better than yesterday.

You’re a dangerous spider because you always come out of every experience learning more, learning to be better as you adapt, plan and overcome every obstacle in your way.

You’re a dangerous spider, because you push yourself to the brink it’s almost madness. Your obsession of not being weak, helpless, and vulnerable forced your body to adapt at a rapid pace. It terrified your enemies and comrades. And how easily you can hide that obsession is also terrifying.

It’s the calm before the storm.

And right now, you need to plan better. You’ll leave the Narrows, go somewhere else. Possibly Park Row? No. That’s the Red Hoods territory. Maybe somewhere less chaotic. Oh! East End sounds perfect! It’s one of the places Batman doesn’t really interfere with.

Perfect.

You’ll only leave once you finish your beacons. Because you know the bats will come here, and most certainly discover that someone has been here building no matter how you try to cover up your doings.

Batman is just that good. You just won’t take any chances.

-

In a different universe far faaaaaaar away. Miguel discovered a heartbreaking partially audible voice recording of his missing protégé.

Location unknown. Coordinates unknown. Universe unknown.

You were lost, and he doesn’t know how to find you.

Prev; Next;

I know it feels like I'm rushing and to that- fair probably. I also really want to get into the bat family and stuff. Their actual civilian personas i mean. Not their vigilante alter ego. You are going to meet them next chapter for sure, I just need to find a way to up the states for you. Make you feel dread and anxious.

I'm not a funny person, so I feel like I am doing the spider-sona injustice. Rip.

[itsmemuffy]

I can make you feel better...

If you let me (chapter one)

Chapter Two out now ♡

Contents: Original Trilogy! Logan x fem reader, naive reader, obsessive and touch starved Logan, friends to lovers, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, non-sexual physical intimacy, sexual fantasies (real smut in pt. 2), mentions of Charles, Ororo, Jean, Scott and Rogue

Summary: You keep everything running as smooth as possible in the background while Professor Xavier keeps a very full plate of locating mutants, running the school, and leading the X-Men. A steady stream of mutants come and go through the mansion, but a certain one in particular makes it his mission to nestle his way into your life.

The past few days had been a whirlwind for Logan. He's the type of man that goes where he wants to go- and waking up in an infirmary on a small hospital cot after being round up like some sort of animal was not on his list of things to do that week, to say the least.

For all intents and purposes, his next plan of action was to get away from here as soon as he possibly could and get back to the life he lived on his own terms. His only home and form of transportation was totalled somewhere in the Alberta wilderness, sure, but he already had experience starting over from nothing.

Oh, but was one man ever persuasive: Charles Xavier. Not many people had an edge over Logan like he did. If his ego permitted, he would be thankful that the man that held upper hand had noble intentions.

When he first met you, a cute little thing diligently running errands to what was perhaps the one man who could have his answers, you immediately piqued Logan's interest. So sweet and so kind, and Charles put his trust in you?

He had barged in like he owned the place on you and the professor scheduling out the upcoming semester in his office. Charles appeared to have already gotten used to this type behavior from him. "This, my dear, is Logan. He will hopefully be joining us now."

Oh... so is he planning to stick around? You ponder as you bite the inside of your cheek, leaning onto Charles' desk with your hip. Logan immediately came off as brooding and dismissive, and he didn't seem like the type to settle into a place beaming with so much activity. Regardless, you extended your hand out to him as you told him your name.

It took him a second to register the gesture. He only now noticed how lost in thought he was, eyes caught below your neckline. With a clearing of his throat, Logan reached a hand back to you to shake it. The most formal of ways to greet someone, yet the feeling of your delicate fingers grasping his rough palm caused his mind to wander again. He forced himself back to reality.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around," Logan remained aloof in speech, hoping you didn't notice the way he devoured you with his gaze. He decided to promptly remove himself from the room, searching for the privacy to be alone with his thoughts.

A few interactions after your initial introduction, Logan started to feel something beyond sexual curiosity. You made his heart race, you made him nervous.

Not a single detail went unnoticed by Logan. The way your hips would sway, how you parted your hair, the shade of lipstick you wore, the softness in your voice whenever you greeted him, your scent.

Life kept throwing change in Logan's way, morphing his way of living into something unrecognizable to him. For the last however many years (boy, is he ever bad at keeping track of time) he had filled them with isolation and taking whatever cheap pleasures he could find. Now he finds himself surrendering the space in his mind to a woman he barely knew. You brought warmth and light into a cold, dark place.

No, this won't fly, he thought to himself. The fact that he was losing control over the dynamic between you made him very uncomfortable. Logan made it his mission to learn more about you. If he could just figure you out, he could take the reins over again.

The two of you would always acknowledge eachother in a group setting. The tiny smile Logan would throw your way whenever you caught eyes made you weak. You couldn't help but to want to know more about him, too. A rugged man who was a stranger not too long ago was showing you consideration? A man who nobody knows where he's been, what he's done, how old he is? It kind of wracked your brain, but you tried not to let it trip you up.

Oh, but he would catch you trip up. It wasn't lost on Logan the times you entered a space with him in it, seemingly to forget what you came in there for. Maybe you were a little ditzy- your mind often racing too fast that you couldn't catch up with yourself, but it had happened too many times for it to be a coincidence. At least, that's what he told himself.

He replicated your behavior, scouting you out amongst the mansion. It wasn't hard for him to find you. Your trail had become so much bolder to his senses, overshadowing anybody else that could be in vicinity.

Logan always found what he was looking for. Excuse after excuse slipped easily from his lips. Obvious to everyone else what he was doing, you earnestly took the bait every time without fail. He marked the first time he had a conversation with you alone as a significant victory.

"Hey, didn't see you there. Have you seen Charles around? I need to talk to him." He had cornered you in the library, watching you read for a minute or two before making his presence known.

You flinched up in your chair, "Jesus Logan, don't sneak up on me like that!" The yelp that initially left your lips was definitely a sound he would remember next time he's alone.

"Sorry, doll. Didn't mean to scare ya," he chuckled.

The upset you felt towards him for breaking your flow state lasted but half a second. You couldn't be mad. After all, whatever he needed Charles for must of been important.

"No, Jean and him are off chaperoning a field trip in the city. He should be back sometime this evening."

Logan let out a little "hmph", trying his best sound to sound disappointed. Inside he was estatic he finally caught up to you again. Now with no one else around, his mind flooded with possibilities on how this could go. The odds of you immediately throwing yourself at him weren't zero, were they? If he were to take you and bend you over the table right this very second, there was a possiblility you'd let him... right? God, am I really this desperate? he thought.

After letting a moment hang in the air, he sat down next to you in the ajacet seat. "So, what are you doing here all by yourself? Got nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon, huh?" Good idea, Logan, change the subject.

"You're one to talk," your focus was now one hundred percent on him. Thighs spread as he lazily leaned back in the chair, rolling his head to the side. To say he wasn't beautiful like this would be a lie. You've rarely seen him this relaxed. "Aren't you here too?"

"Huh." Logan did not anticipate you to call him out like that, "I guess you've got a point, there."

An awkward silence sat between the two of you. You pretended to divert your attention back to your book, not letting him escape the corner of your eye. Logan lit up a cigar he fished from his pocket. He desperately needed something to do with his hands.

"This is a library, you know that right?" You chide him after an annoyed sigh.

"Oh, is it now? I thought all these books were just for decoration." His lips sucked in another drag.

"Very expensive books, Logan. There's plenty of perfecly fine places to smoke around here if you just look."

He got up from his seat, "Then why don't you show me around, darlin'? Open my eyes a little." You couldn't quite tell if the pet name was to belittle you or to be affectionate. A hand reached out to bring you to stand. "I'll let you lead the way."

You lead him outside to the back of the mansion, a secluded area with an old stone bench shaded by the surrounding trees. It was your favorite place on the property, and it soon became his as well.

After that day, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the two of you to catch eachother in that very spot on a warm day. You would watch the kids play in the field, discussing all the antics the students got into that week. Bright afternoon sun would peak through the trees as cigar smoke wafted in the air- everything felt so perfect when you were with him.

Logan often found himself falling asleep thinking of you. He would linger on any time you spent together in the previous hours of the day, overanalyzing the interaction. Any amount he got of you was never enough. He always needed more. More time with you, more closeness, more, more, more.

If he was lucky, you would visit him in his dreams. It was rare but whenever it happened, it was a blessing. You would appear to him as vivid and real as if he was awake. There, he was finally able to close the gap between you two. His hands would finally meet every inch of your plush skin.

However, Logan's mind loved to torture him. As much as your companionship has brought him peace, no amount of feelings for you could change the fact that he was a broken man. Most nights consisted of horrific images; an incomprehensible collage of blood and bodies that he desperately tried to make sense of. All he knew is that it was all real. It happened. The pain was too prevalent to be fantasy.

Tonight he had awoke in terror yet again. A cold, uncomfortable sweat coated his body, chest heaving up and down like a piston. Logan's eyes were blown wide, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to convince himself he was safe in his room. When did four walls around you ever mean you were safe? His intrusive thoughts were keen on keeping him in a state of anxiety. When did four walls ever make someone safe from you?

That was enough. Logan knew all too well how his mind could go on and on like this if he let it. He needed to get some air. The bed creaked under his shifting weight as he sat up. His entire body felt sore. It was if he fought off an entire army in the hours he was asleep.

After finally getting up, he made his way past his bedroom door and down the hall towards the nearest exit. The kitchen was along that route. He figured he might as well grab something to drink. Anything, as long as it was cold.

As he turned the corner, the narrow hallway met the open space of the kitchen. Logan was surprised to find the room already illuminated with light. His eyes lit up when he saw who was sitting at the counter.

Logan stumbled before you a dishelveled mess. His hair was matted, sticking up every which way. The white tank he wore was half tucked into sweatpants he haphazardly put on before leaving his bedroom, drawstrings not even tied as they sat low on his hips. His demeanor was one of a wild animal, cautious and running on instinct.

A wave of awareness washed over Logan. He combed his fingers through his dark locks and straightened his back as he approached you further. Once he got himself to think in actual words again, he greeted you.

"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" His voice was hoarse and deep. Logan just now realized how sore his throat was. He hoped to god that he wasn't screaming in his slumber- at least not loud enough for anybody to hear.

"I just woke up not too long ago. Was hoping a snack would help me get back to sleep." You sat before a plate filled with a random assortment of food you scavenged from the cupboards, "Want some?"

"No thanks, sweetheart," the way he spoke sweetly to you through his gravelly tone made your heart skip a beat. He didn't need to ask to know that you had a rough night as well. It was written all over your face. A gentleness Logan typically pushed down and tried to ignore was bubbling to the surface. Something in him was relieved he was no longer alone with himself tonight.

You watch him make the journey past you to the fridge, scanning the contents of the shelves like it was the hardest decision he had to make in a long time. Rootbeer or ginger ale... Ginger ale or rootbeer...

"You didn't hear it from me, but Scott keeps a few beers in the vegetable drawer underneath the celery."

"That sneaky little bastard," he smirks. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Logan was delighted. Not only by the sudden promise of alcohol, but by the thought that you might share other secrets with him, too. He had a boyish urge to stay up the entire night with you and see if he could get you to spill all the other secrets you must have.

Two beers clanked together as Logan grasped them with a single hand. He took a seat across from you and slid a bottle over to your side of the countertop. Your eyes locked and held on to that contact for probably way too long. Time felt like it has stopped. The moment he walked into the kitchen and saw you, the clock might as well never ticked a single second past 1:37 AM.

"I don't know... Scott will probably notice if we take more than one," you say as you bite your lip.

"I'll run to the store in the morning, he won't even know they were gone," he was all too ready to combat your excuse. Logan wanted to see you come undone. You worked so hard, did everything you're told and were so diligent. Such a good girl. A beer in your hand looked terribly out of place and that made his heart swell.

"Guess it can't hurt, can it?" You opened the bottle and sipped as the frosty glass numbed the tips of your fingers.

He drank much slower than his usual pace, taking the tiniest of mouthfuls like the time with you would run out with the beer. Silence draped over the two of you like a warm blanket, both too exhausted to put on any sort of show to entertain the other. The satisfaction of just being in eachother's company was enough. It came all too easy when you were together. After witnessing all those horrors earlier in the night, Logan finally felt content.

You notice he rubs his neck, a strained noise rumbled in his chest. The stool you sat in screeches against the tile floor as you get up and make your way over to him on the other side of the island. Logan's eyes followed you with every step you took

"May I?" you ask as you now stand behind him, hands hovering over his shoulders, waiting for permission. It wasn't a big deal. You always help out Ororo and Jean when they have stiffness or a knot. That's what friends do for eachother, right?

Logan did his best to hide his signs of exitement. He couldn't let you know how often he thinks of your touch. If he had only one ounce less of pride, he would be begging you for the simplest of contact all hours of the day. "That's real sweet of you, but you really don't have to," he said with the slightest quiver in is voice.

"But I want to." That's it. Those four words just shattered him into a million pieces. If you only knew what you were doing to him.

Your digits grip the dip in his shoulder as your thumbs dig between his shoulder blades. You tried not to gasp when you felt the all knots going up his back. It has just occurred to you how little mind he must pay to taking care of himself for it to get this bad. Pain was a staple of his everyday life, why waste time to try and remedy it? Despite the ability to heal, the constant state of tension still took an immense toll on his body.

Logan leaned into your touch and practically melted under your fingers as he tentatively sipped his beer. If he were to turn around and look at your face, he'd see your complexion flushed bright red. Maybe you were enjoying this a little too much, and you chastised yourself for thinking that way. Little did you know all the scandalous thoughts Logan let his mind run away with on a daily basis when he was around you.

Your hands quickly grew weary working into the solid muscle, but you pushed through it for him. You know he needed this by the way his eyes were now closed and soft hums that left his lips. After working across his shoulders, you finally made your way to his neck. Logan let his head fall forward completely as your knuckles broke up the bundled-up nerves beneath his skin. The tightness in him was able to come loose a bit for the first time in a long, long time.

"Whew," you withdrew your hands and shook them out, "hopefully it feels a bit better now."

"It does," a smile crept up on his face that he tried to supress with each word. "That really was somethin', thank you."

You sat back down across from him and remained mostly silent after that apart from the occasional yawn. A single beer not quite enough to offer a buzz, but enough to lull you out of your wired state.

"Think I'm going to call it a night. You should, too. Danger room is on the itinerary first thing in the morning."

"Yeah, well you can tell Charles where to stick his itinerary." Logan was determined to make you smile one last time before you parted ways- and he succeeded.

He walked behind you on your way back down the hall, wishing the journey was not as quick as it was. Your room came up a few doors before his. Logan almost followed you into your bedroom before he shook himself out of auto pilot. It was like a habit that hadn't been formed yet. He belonged next to you in that bed, he knew because he felt it in every fibre of his being.

"Goodnight, Logan. Sleep well."

"I definetly will now. Goodnight, sweetheart."

Sweetheart. There it was again. You convince yourself it couldn't of meant anything.

When you gently shut the door behind you, time had resumed yet again. That little bubble wherein only the two of you existed had been popped.

He lied about going back to sleep, holding on to the delusion that he didn't need it. Besides, he didn't want to say goodbye to your essence. You still filled his senses, if only just barely. A deep inhale could capture your scent, and your breathing could faintly be heard if he really listened. Logan stood outside your door until the sun started to rise before he snuck back into his room.

He never ended up replacing Scott's beers.

As time went by, your encounters with eachother became more and more frequent. Excuses to talk were no longer required. You enjoyed Logan's company, as he did yours. There was no reason to pretend, you were just two friends growing closer by the day.

You gradually opened up to one another and Logan started to confide in you. Any insight on himself or his past was kept brief, giving carefully worded and vague details. You knew better than to push him for more than he was wiling to give and he liked that about you. Whenever the confusion, the regret, or the pain would get too much, he turned the conversation back to you. The more he learned about you as a person, the more his mind circled all his thoughts back to you.

Neither side knew, however, what things the other was keeping to themselves. You couldn't tell him how the casual touches felt different from him than how it felt with your other male friends. You couldn't tell him how hard it was to think when you would run into him all sweaty after an intense training session. You couldn't tell him that when you held onto your pillow at night, you wish it had his warmth.

And he couldn't tell you that you were the first thing he thought of in the morning. He couldn't tell you how he had a favorite pair of jeans that your ass looked best in. He couldn't tell you that he committed every detail about you to memory- from the curve of your lips to the way you say his name.

Anyone who saw the way Logan looked at you could deduce there was something more going on beneath the surface. Scott would tease him about it and he would swiftly shut it down. Jean and Ororo would pry you for details, only for you to tell them there was nothing going on between you and him. They didn't buy it. No one bought it.

All the words unsaid eventually built up so high it was suffocating. It was getting harder and harder to behave like normal around eachother, not knowing where the boundaries were and if it was okay to cross them. Something had to give.

It started out as a regular Friday evening with the team gathered together, watching movies and playing cards. Your initial plan was to work late into the night. Small, tedious tasks has accumulated as you had focused on more pressing matters throughout the week. Charles was having the X-Men find mutants at a pace more efficient than ever before which corresponded with an increased workload on your front.

You were leaving in the morning on a trip for the long weekend and you were determined to finish everything before you left. Ororo was always the one to break you out of your paperwork prison and get you to live a little. "Come on, everyone's waiting for you to come down before we put on the next movie."

"Storm, if I don't do this now, it will never get done."

"Oh, please. You worked so hard all week. Everything here can wait until you get back," your friend watches you as you roll your eyes and continue sorting files. Good thing she had a little trick up her sleeve, "...and Logan wants to see you before you leave."

"He said that...?" you inquire in an almost pathetic manner. She nodded but truthfully, he didn't have say it. She knew it was true all the same.

After dragging you downstairs you scanned the common room, everyone talking amongst themselves with a glass in hand. Everyone except Logan. Ororo had pulled a similar scheme to get him to come out of his self isolation, but when he saw you weren't there earlier, he decided to skip the socializing and retire to his room.

Jean, ever the fast thinker, was in on the plan, "Hey, we were thinking about ordering takeout. Can you do me a favor and see if Logan wants anything?" She hands you a menu knowing you wouldn't pass up a chance to be helpful to a friend.

Logan sat in darkness on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples and groaning. He truly didn't mean to blow everybody else off. In actuality, he enjoyed shooting the shit with the mutants he was slowly starting to recognize as his family. Tonight was different, however.

Frustration was pushing him to his limit. He still wasn't any closer to finding the missing pieces to his puzzle. Charles told him these kind of things take time. He was sick of hearing that, he needed answers now. His sanity depended on it.

Only one thing was certain- another person had done this to him. There was no doubt the wiping of his memories was a deliberate effort on somebody's part. That wasn't the only thing. The recurring visions of being horrified at his own self, the sickening realization he was changed into something he hadn't been before haunted him on the daily. Is my body really my own?

All of this made worse by the multiple birthdays of a couple of students this past month. Simple things everyone knew about themselves- when and where they were born- was a luxury he was not afforded. Logan felt himself slipping, the feelings that were out of his control eating away at him.

A knock at the door stopped his thoughts in its tracks. "Logan? You there?" Only but a half hour earlier, you were the only person he wanted to see. But now that he has succumbed further down his spiral of self pity in that short amount of time, he didn't want you to see him like this.

"What do you want?" His uncharacteristically cold tone made you wince behind the door. As much as he needed you to pull him out of the hole he dug for himself, the dark recesses of his mind were commanding him to push you away.

"We're ordering takeout. Jean needs to know if you want anything."

"I'm not hungry." He was silently begging for you to walk away before he said something he would regret.

"Can I please come in?" You pleaded, hoping he'd recognize the worry in your voice. This wasn't like him.

"Fine," he grumbled. At the end of the day, Logan could never say no to you.

The door squeaked as you inched it open. You could barely make out his silhouette in the dark. With a flick of a switch, the space was illuminated. "Is everything alright, Lo? You're scaring me."

Careful footsteps slowly brought you to stand before him. The air in the room was undoubtedly charged. Every action you now took was deliberate, as if trying not to startle a feral animal.

"You wouldn't be the first person that's ever been scared of me," he spat out his words like daggers.

As serious as the conversation felt, you couldn't help a scoff from escaping you. You sat down next to him on the bed mere inches apart, "that's not what I mean and you know it. Stop being so obtuse and tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on, believe me," Logan sighed. His demeanor immediately softened just from having you close. He buried his face in his palm- an insecure gesture you've rarely seem him perform. But when he did, you knew exactly what it meant.

"Bullshit. I know you better than this, Logan." Maybe you were getting through to him.

Something about what you said must have struck him the wrong way as he tensed back up again. "You don't know me at all, actually."

"How can you say that? We see eachother almost every single day! Come on, now... You can't be serious," you playfully nudge his knee against your own, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I am serious. How can you know me when I don't even know myself? You don't know what I've done and how many people I've had to do it to. I don't even know any of the fucking details but I know it ain't anything good, sweetheart." He watched outside himself as he was taking his inner frustration out on you.

Logan knew it wasn't right to speak to you this way when you were just trying to be there for him. As much as it stung in the moment, you tried not to take it personally. He was hurt and he needed you, that much was clear.

"Listen to me for just one second," you braced yourself, unsure how he would take what you were about to say. "I know what kind of man you are. And I don't need to know your entire damn history to be certain of that."

All he could do was stare blankly at your face as he processed your words. Without waiting for a response you continued, "How can I be so sure? Because I see it in everything you do, Logan. It's in the way you treat Rogue and the other kids, treat your teammates, treat me. I can't tell you that you've never had to hurt anyone, but you know what? I have faith in you. Faith that whatever may have happened in your past, you've learned from and are a better man for it."

A long period of silence sat between you. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence, but the charge in the air had definetly diffused. You held his stare, now was not the time to back down. There was a chance you were finally getting through to him and you needed to make it clear you meant every word that you just said.

After a prolonged moment to properly think about what you were saying to him, the look on his face transformed into something you couldn't quite put your finger on. A look that was warm, and you could go as far to say it was a look that was loving.

Logan did indeed love you. He loved the way you didn't try to tame him, how you not only didn't shy away from the less savory aspects of his life- you met them head on with tenderness and understanding.

With this love came great guilt. You had a way of making Logan feel like the world had more to offer than just loss and suffering, for this he was grateful. Still, the feeling he deserved to suffer alone gnawed at him until his gut felt raw. If he were to send for you everytime he needed you, you would be a way busier woman than you already were. The fact that you always made time for him without the semblance of hesitation wasn't lost on him, either.

"How are you so sweet?" he croons as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. Logan was always gentle with his touch when it came to you, but the softness of his actions in this moment shocked even yourself. "You're too sweet for me, darlin'. Wouldn't want anything to change that."

It almost made you sick to your stomach how just barely your bodies were connected in this moment. He kept his touch as light as a feather as he trailed his hand down your neck before it made it's temporary home on your shoulder. "Say something, sweetheart," he pleaded as a firm squeeze brought you back to reality. Logan needed more of your words to keep him grounded. "Please."

"Logan, I..." your brain scrambled as you tried to gather your thoughts. The way you felt for him was so foreign to you. You couldn't put it into words right now no matter how badly you wanted to. This feeling could only properly be put into actions- an action older than language itself.

Without thinking, you close the gap and press your lips to his- Logan's bottom lip captured between your own. In his wildest dreams, he never thought you would be the one to make the first move and initiate a kiss. The hand that wasn't on your shoulder now cupped your face. He held you there, afraid you'd slip away from him.

"I'm sorry... I know it probably isn't the right time for this," you whispered against his lips.

"Mmm," Logan emitted a small chuckle into your mouth as he went in for a deeper kiss this time. More intense, hungry. His beard burned deliciously when it scuffed your skin. "Never a wrong time to kiss ya, sweet girl."

Now that he has felt your velvety soft lips, he knew he would never be able to get enough. His desire for you overrided his shame. Logan got a taste of what it would be like if you were his. From this point on, he wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. The floodgates were now open and he couldn't wait to pour himself all over you.

He pulled his face away from yours, still holding your body close, "all this just for you to leave in the morning, huh?" Logan looked down at you through half-lidded eyes. His mind was in a daze, in such bliss now that the invisible barriers between you were finally being torn down.

"Oh please, I'll only be gone for a few days." Even though the trip you were about to go on was a long time coming, you wouldn't mind throwing all your plans away just to be in Logan's arms all weekend. "Why, you gonna miss me that bad?"

"I always miss my girl when she's gone," he couldn't help all the syrupy words from flowing from his mouth. Inhibitions were nonexistent to Logan in this moment and he couldn't say anything but exactly what was on his mind.

He was right. You were his girl. In every sense of the word. His girl whose face would light up everytime he walked into a room. His girl who would save him a plate whenever he was late to dinner. His girl who would always make sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed. His girl who would do absolutely anything for him- all he had to do was ask. Logan had owned your heart for a while now.

You fiddle with the seams at the bottom of his tank, fingers brushing his abdomen underneath. It was enough to make you both shiver. "Just do me a favor while I'm away, Lo."

Jesus, how his pulse quickened everytime you called that little nickname. I'm so fucked, he thought. What a fool he was to think he was ever in control. Since the moment the two of you met, his heart belonged to you as well. "And what is that you need me to do?"

"Try not to be so hard on yourself," you punctuate your request with a chaste kiss to the apple of his cheek. You felt his face lift as a smile reached his eyes. "Shit... I haven't even finished packing," it has just now dawned on you.

The realization he couldn't keep you next to him in bed forever hit him like a brick- another bubble popped. It's a shame, but he told himself there will be plently of opportunities to conjure up the little worlds you built together. He had no other option but to placate his burning desire for the time being.

"Well, don't let me keep you any longer," Logan hesitatantly let go of his grip on you. He got up to escort you the few steps from the bed to the door. Excessive, yes. But so necessary all the same.

Just as your hand was reaching to turn the handle, turned your back to the door to embrace him. It took your entire wingspan to wrap your arms around his broad form. Logan's warmth was absolutely addictive. He held on to the back of your head with his face buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

"Just in case I don't catch you first thing in the morning..." you whispered as you caress up and down his back, "goodbye, Lo."

"Goodbye, sweetheart," he withdraws from his burrow within your hair to slip his lips between yours again. "Think of me while you're gone, will ya?"

"Always do."

And with that, you were apart again. As you were folding clothes to go into your suitcase, you couldn't help but think about how well the two of you clicked into place. He already had you longing to feel his body up against your own again. You fell asleep imagining all the places you'd let his hands explore when you got back. Logan laid in his bed doing the same.

Fin.

[novemberheart]

{overview} John tightens his control. You get a reality check

{warnings} a/b/o dynamics, fem reader, cursing, this is a John-heavy chapter

Chapter 6 <- Chapter 7 -> Chapter 8

You were thoroughly exhausted by the time you got back home. Johnny watched your sluggish form, half tempted to throw you over his shoulder.

“There you three are.” John greeted as soon as Kyle opened the door. John's eyes widened as Kyle came in with two large shopping bags. “I see you enjoyed your day out.” He raised a brow, his eyes roaming over your sleepy state.

“I had a very good day,” you spoke, beginning to take the bags from Kyle to bring them to your room.

“I got it,” he assured softly. “Dinners in a few,” he reminded. The thought of eating anything else today made your stomach hurt.

“I don't think I can eat anything else. I'd like to just stay here if it's alright with you?” you questioned as he set the bag down by your door. One of your hands came up to rub at your eyes. He smiled knowingly, nodding his head in agreement.

“I’ll bring you back a dessert.” he winked.

You had begun to curl yourself up in bed when your phone went off.

“Hey, honey.” Kate greeted, almost hesitantly.

“Hi.” you chirped back. You could practically see her shoulders relax. “Guess who had a great day today.” you sang, pulling your covers over your head.

“Please God, be you,” she smirked on the other end.

“Ding. Ding. That would be correct.” you cheered. “Kyle and Johnny took me to the aquarium today, then out to lunch and then shopping.”

“Those are the boys I know.” she sighed- relieved. “Actually better than the boys I know. How'd you swing that?” she questioned.

“I didn't do anything. At first, I thought you said some”-

“I wouldn't do that,” she interjected.

“I know.” you soothed back. “I think maybe they felt bad about yesterday.” you reasoned.

“Well, hopefully, they keep it up. The good part, not the guilt part.”

“Fingers crossed.” you sighed. “Thanks for checking in Kate.”

“Of course, Honey. Oh and by the way you and John are going to have to stop by my office tomorrow. Paperwork and key cards. Nothing fun.” she huffed.

“Alright. See you then. Tell wifey I said ‘hi.’” you smiled, pressing the big red button.

You awoke especially chipper that morning. Only for that to be squashed the second you realized you were the only one in the house. John had left a note on the fridge.

Morning,

Out for a morning meeting, we’ll pick you back up for breakfast. Have fun with Simon.

-John

Simon?

“Don’t scream.” a voice echoed from behind you causing you to shriek. “Fucking hell,” Simon muttered under his breath.

“What are you doing on the couch?” you gasped, wondering how you missed his imposing frame spread out.

“You need to work on your awareness.” he chided, adjusting so he was sitting up. A pained groan escaped him and you rushed over to help. He held up a hand to stop you. “Don't need babying pup.” he groaned.

“Help isn't babying Simon.” you ignored the flutter in your stomach at his nickname for you. You plopped down on the couch next to him.

“How was your date yesterday?” he questioned, his blank eyes boring into yours.

“I had fun.” you smiled widely, cuddling into the plush cushion.

“Good.” he sighed. He turned back to the TV that was on mute.

“Why are you on the couch?” you repeated. “Shouldn't you be in bed?”

“Beds shite.” he huffed. He flicked the mute button off, deciding it was the end of the conversation.

“Are you happy to be home?” you piqued up.

“Happy to be in a quiet home,” he answered.

“Message received.” you snorted, turning to watch whatever prank show he had on.

“Honey, I'm home,” Johnny called bounding into view. He was carrying two takeout bags, handing one to Simon who eagerly began digging into it. Johnny pushed Simon's feet aside to make room for himself on the couch.

“How'd you sleep, Bon?” Johnny questioned.

“I slept good,” you replied, a little too focused on the food.

John rested a hand on the back of the couch, his other hand resting on your shoulder.

“Ready?” he hummed, nodding his head towards the door. You blushed as your stomach growled. “I'll take that as a yes,” John smirked. His large hand found a familiar spot on your back. High enough to be respectful, but low enough to send a message to those who passed.

“How was your day out?” John asked. He chose to eat next to you at the table. Considering it was just you and him, he wanted to be within arms reach of you. It was the second time you had been asked the question, but at least they cared.

“It was wonderful.” you declared, turning back to your breakfast.

“Glad to hear,” he spoke softly. John had a very natural and comforting purr to his voice. It was commanding- yet playful. Raspy - yet smooth. The baritone lull in his voice shot from your ears all the way down to your toes. You curled them in your shoes. He was a complicated man. You wondered if he would let you close enough to figure him out.

“Everything alright?” he said slowly. You had been staring at him. You shut your eyes tightly, tilting your head down towards the table.

“Yeah, sorry,” you assured quickly.

“S’alright, Sweetheart. If I've got something on my face please tell me.” he half joked.

“No. I just like the way your voice sounds.” you complimented. You know it didn't have anything to do with the way he looked, but it was an explanation- and the truth.

“That right?” the satisfaction in voice making you preen. “Well I got it from years of yelling and chain-smoking,” he explained, causing your shoulders to relax and a giggle to escape you.

“Well it suits you,” you added. The corners of his lips began to curl before his face fell. You didn't take it personally. You doubted it was professional to show a variety of emotions in the cafeteria.

“Kate has some things for us,” he spoke up after a while.

“Sounds good,” you already knew, but you were worried he would wonder why you didn't say anything.

As soon as Kate opened the door to her office you nearly flung yourself at her, desperate to catch even the slightest hint of a familiar scent. She huffed and patted you on the back before pushing you away. You snickered and plopped down in one of the cold leather seats. John bit back a smile at your excitement and sat down next to you.

Kate's office was nice. There was almost no effort put into it since it was just a temporary one for when she needed to be in the area.

“How have you two been?” she hummed, opening one of the filing cabinets, and fishing out two hefty manila envelopes.

“Good.”

“Fine.” John and you spoke at the same time.

“Heard Simon was able to go back home.” Kate smiled, plopping down in her desk chair.

“He’s recovering quicker. Thanks to this one.” he praised, nodding his head in your direction. You still doubted your part in the process. You had spent half a day with him and you two weren't yet bonded. But the belly-up omega in your head didn't care.

“Glad to hear, keep me posted please.” she requested. “Honey, this is for you.” she handed you the thicker of the two. “Think of it like a diary. It's going to have daily and weekly questions or surveys. There's a month's worth there. After you complete it the Omega Standards Bureau will send you another one and you'll turn that one into the representative on base.” she explained.

“Okay.” you agreed. “Do all omegas have to do this?” you questioned, taking a peek inside the envelope.

“They pick and choose who they give them to. I think they chose you because you're in a smaller SAS pack. With an equal number of alphas to betas all of which are male. Also, you were picked to be in the pack by an outside member, me.” she explained.

“I’m quite the experiment aren't I.” you chuckled, glancing over at John. His eyes were trained on the envelope and you knew he was just itching to dive in there himself.

“Can I ask what type of questions.” he finally spoke up.

“From what I understand it's going to be based more on how she feels throughout the adjustment period of the pack.” Kate clarified.

“Don't worry, I won't be overly specific,” you swore. You could sense his hesitation, which you assumed could be boiled down to having things about his pack exposed. He offered you a reassuring smile.

“This one is for you John.” she passed over the envelope to him. “Hard copies of her records, medical history, and that sort of thing. Also has the Omega Committee calendar with events and things.”

The Omega Committee. You remember Kyle talking to you about that at the aquarium. It was advertised as a club that rounded up all the omegas to do activities, but in reality, it just looked like a daycare.

“There was something else I wanted to discuss with you.” John cleared his throat. Your brows furrowed your mind automatically jumping to the deep end of the paranoid pool. “How would you feel about getting chipped, honey?” John inquired.

You had heard about that before. It was usually done in large packs so alphas knew which omegas belonged to who.

“You can say no of course and I don't want to scare you but I think it would be safer given our line of work,” John explained carefully. He spent half the night discussing with Simon how to bring this topic up to you.

“What would that entail?” you asked softly.

“It’s a small incision behind your ear- wouldn’t even leave a scar. It'll have mine and Simon’s name, and phone number,” he explained. He debated on whether or not he should tell you he wants one with a tracking ability. “How would you feel about one with tracking?”

“Tracking?” you gasped a bit taken aback. “Is that really necessary?” you were beginning to grow worried. You either had very paranoid alphas or you were in more danger than you imagined.

“Not necessary,” he assured quickly. “But I strongly feel it would be a good idea. Kyle has one. We kept getting separated from him on a mission. It’s also easy to take out, should you ever want to.”

The ending made you wince. While he didn't specify you knew the implications.

“I also think it's a good idea.” Kate agreed. “Not that anything will happen, honey. But even something small like getting separated while shopping, just knowing they already know where you are would make you feel better right?”

You weren't sure if Kate had a point or not. You weren't sure if you were ready for that type of control. Then again you have been controlled your whole life. An omega’s ‘purpose’.

“Can I think about it a bit more?” you reasoned gently. John sighed not so much in anger but in disappointment.

“Course.” He responded.

“There’s one more thing.” Kate spoke, her eyes drifting over towards you. It seemed to be time for you to go swimming again. “Tomorrow’s my last day, before heading back to the states.” Your heart dropped into your stomach. What if something happened? What if you needed to leave? Who would be here to help you? She was leaving you here completely and utterly alone. “John, can we have a moment?” She asked, her eyes beginning to water from the sudden tang in the air.

“Course.” He moved quickly, his own mouth watering (not in a pleasant way) at the sourness burning his senses. At least now he knew you had a strong defense mechanism.

“I know”-

“You’re abandoning me!” You cried out cutting her off. “How could you? You said you would be on base.” You sputtered, your fingers digging into the desk.

“For your first few days, honey.” The nickname just rubbed salt in your wounds. “I’ll still be able to help you if you need it. But I believe this will be better for you.” She half- snapped.

“Better for me? How is leaving me with strangers better?” You gawked. A sudden gust of Jasmine and peppermint hit you in the face, followed by the known smell of angry alpha. It was a difficult scent to describe. It was smokey, not in a soothing way, but in an all-consuming hard to breathe way.

“You are relying on me too much. You aren't giving this your best shot because, in the back of your mind you already believe you are going to leave. Do you know what the truth is, honey? You are lucky to be here. You have been paired with a very well-established pack- who, yes, have had a few reservations about you joining, but have made no effort to get rid of you- and they aren't going to. They are just a bunch of stubborn men who don't always know what they need. You are going from the safety of an omega house to the safety of one of the most vital packs in the world. You don't have to bargain for a place to live while you wait for a hopefully kind alpha to choose you. I love you like you are a part of my pack, honey, but I really need you to see how fortunate you are.” She was pleading with you now. The smoke from the air was gone, as were the bitter lemons. You slumped in your seat, your head resting in your hands.

“I’m sorry Kate.” you apologized softly. “I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I guess I just didn't realize”- you trailed off. There were a lot of things you hadn't realized. How important this pack truly was. How highly Kate thought of them. How significant your role in this pack would be. Along with even more respect for Kate, a feeling began to arise in your chest. A tangled web of stress, relief, and most importantly a nauseating wave of hope. You had the chance most omegas could only dream about.

Be the backbone of a strong pack.

And you finally felt ready for the challenge.

Another chapter is done and gone! The next chapter will be posted tomorrow because it's a short one! See you then! 🧡

[grandline-fics]

Immune To Your Charms

DESCRIPTION: Soulmates are incapable of harming the other in any way. Normally that would be a good thing but not when you're meant to be enemies.

WARNINGS: It's Doflamingo so that's it's own warning if you don't like reading fics featuring him. Soulmate! AU, Enemies to Lovers. Some descriptions of illness and death

CHARACTERS: Doflamingo

WORDS: 3,907

A/N: The next part is here and we've got some soft Doffy and in denial Doffy because lets face it the man isn't going to admit his feelings so easily. I hope you all like how this chapter turned out. I think this might be the longest chapter yet. Hopefully the next one won't have as long a wait

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven(here) | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen (coming soon)

——————

Once again being soulmates had yielded unforeseen benefits- for a lack of a better term- with the way Doflamingo’s touch meant your body was incapable of feeling pain from your sickness. Doflamingo watched silently as one of the doctors approached to conduct their morning observations of your condition. The doctor, highly aware of his ruler’s intense stare, flinched when they lifted your hand into their’s, already braced and expecting your expression to contort into one of pain. He only relaxed when you continued to sleep, unbothered by the touch that would have caused you to audibly cry out in pain just hours prior. 

With a shaky breath, the doctor became a little braver and pressed their fingers against your wrist to measure your pulse. The night before, when they were first summoned to your chambers after being alerted to your illness this was something they couldn’t properly measure because of the extreme pain you were in. Now he and his colleagues could breathe a little easier, selfishly relieved their lives weren’t entirely endangered when it came to treating you now. 

“Any change?” The doctor jumped suddenly at Doflamingo’s deep voice breaking through the unbearable, tense silence.

“Uh their heart rate is still increased as we’re expecting to be the case for now. But it’s a good sign it hasn’t worsened.” They explained, swallowing the lump in their throat. Even though he was confident in his and the abilities of his colleagues, there was just no predicting how Doflamingo would take any of their statements. He could lash out quite easily and without any remorse or hesitation simply because he wanted to or because their phrasing didn’t fit with what he wanted to hear. “This long period of uninterrupted sleep has made a clear difference. When they wake we'll attempt them with something to eat-something light like broth- and if they can stomach that we’ll begin the first round of medication.”

The seconds ticked by heavily as the doctor waited for Doflamingo to make a comment on the proposed next course of action. He knew better than to prod or say anything that could be seen as forcing a response. So the doctor could only wait and continue to check over you, gently settling your hand against your body before doing another read of your temperature, knowing to monitor your fluctuating fever and chills. Still you didn’t even so much as twitch, the doctor didn't think he’d ever get used to seeing how the power of a soulmate could defy what he knew as a medical professional. “When you’ve finished, discuss an appropriate menu with the cooks and have them begin to prepare it.” 

Taking no further encouragement at his King’s finally uttered words, the doctor completed his checks and updated his notes before bowing and leaving quickly. Silently they were happy their next shift to check on your wouldn’t be until the next morning. Alone again, Doflamingo looked down at your sleeping form. With Doflamingo sitting up against the headrest, you were propped up too but sleeping soundly and unmoved since the second he pulled you into his hold. He clicked his tongue in annoyance. Annoyance that he’d acted in the moment without thinking. The image of your twisted in extreme distress flashed in his head and he turned his head away to scowl, refusing to consider the implications of his actions anymore than he’d already begun to. 

Thankfully you broke his attention by shifting in your sleep, a long lazy groan breaking from your lips as you stirred and forced your eyes to open. Doflamingo noted how exhausted you still looked but the sleep you’d managed to get without feeling pain had helped in some capacity. As you stared blankly in front of you the haze of sleep fell, confusion began to take over. Then panic. Sluggishly you tried to push the covers away and sit up fully. “Late…I’m late.” You croaked out, voice thick with tiredness and trembling with the infection still coursing through you. “Captain’s going…to kill me.”

Doflamingo tilted his head to the side curiously, you didn’t seem to realise he was there and from your sickly rambling it seemed you didn’t even know where you were. With how warm your skin felt he saw the spike in your fever was leaving you confused. He watched your feeble attempt to fight against the covers and listened to you mumble about morning drills for another few seconds before he acted. With ease he pulled the cover back to its original place and lean in so his chest was against your back a little more so he could tell you softly. “You’re on shore leave remember?”

At his voice you stopped and numbly nodded with a small hum of acknowledgement. Slowly you rolled over and slumped to lie down again, your back against his side and head resting on his bicep. While you weren’t conscious enough to know being in his hold prevented your body to feel pain, it seemed like your body now knew out of instinct that this was the only surefire solution for relief. Already your breathing had evened out to signal you were asleep but still Doflamingo could hear the tightened wheeze preventing you from taking calmer, deeper breaths like you normally would. Doflamingo glanced at the clock on the wall, already aware of the doctors’ routine with checking on you. The next would be arriving in twenty minutes, and if the previous doctor had obeyed his order then a servant would be bringing something for you to eat as well. 

In the meantime Doflamingo used his strings to pull the morning’s paper from the table into his waiting hand. Bored and in need of something to occupy his time, he slowly leafed through the pages, taking in the reports from around the world. Some stories about skirmishes made him grin, knowing he was behind the reason both sides had so much weaponry at their disposal and the bloodshed was increasing as he’d expected it to. Other stories of other pirates causing trouble and increasing their bounties made him roll his eyes at the numbers. No doubt the weaklings thought this made them big-shots in the New World but it would only be a matter of time before they ran into someone of real power to knock them down to the harsh reality of these seas. Doflamingo turned the page and paused to see a full story dedicated to the illness you were afflicted with, claiming more lives on the island you’d caught it at. His grin lessened and the vein in his head throbbed as he read through the claims that the island’s best doctors and with the aid of neighbouring islands were administering the treatments needed but for so many it was too late.

‘The cruelty of the illness is so severe to the afflicted that they physically cannot bear to be touched long enough to be treated. Meaning that so many of those that could be saved are unable to endure help from their saviours. These poor souls are meant to spend the last days of life in constant pain while also being too weakened with internal ailments to take matters into their own hands. The only saving grace in this poor report is that thankfully the illness’ source has been dealt with and the island will not suffer more of its populace to fall victim to this calamity. The island’s ruler-thankfully one of those not infected- was quoted to say “We mourn the tragic loss of life but our island will recover.”’ Doflamingo clicked his tongue harshly and discarded the paper.

————

“Just try some please.” You screwed up your face in exhausted distaste at the bowl on the tray. Your eyes stung, even with them being half-opened felt so heavy. Even blinking felt like a massive effort and you had no energy. You just wanted to sleep but the servant and doctor in front of you kept insisting on coaxing you to eat so they could give you medicine. Your gaze dropped to the vial of dark green liquid on the tray and you felt yourself gag, already anticipating the foul taste. “Just a spoonful?”

“No thank you.” You croaked out, turning your head away slightly in case they tried to force it into your mouth. You spotted the fear in their eyes at your refusal to even take a drop of the broth made specifically for you. Even with your mind clouded with the illness you knew they were doing everything they could to avoid the stare of the man you were leaning against. You knew that the reason Doflamingo was in your bed and had your body propped against him, his arm around your waist had been explained but honestly you were too weakened and drained to have really processed what the doctor had told you. All you could really retain was because he was your soulmate and that it was somehow helping. Which only left you more confused about everything. You could feel how tense Doflamingo was, impatient and silently angry. You weren’t in the mood to deal with his tantrums and taking any frustration out on a servant and doctor so you sighed.“Just leave it to the side. I’ll try later.”

While that seemed to relieve the two in front of you, your words only brought an extra note of silent displeasure from the Warlord. If you had the power to roll your eyes you would have. Instead you blankly watched the tray get moved to your bedside table. The servant retreated to the wall closest to the door, silently waiting for permission to leave while the doctor began to check over your condition. Already you were sick of being poked, prodded, and pestered like this and fussed over so intently. “Everything is about the same from the last recordings taken. I don't think we’ll see any real change until the treatment properly begins.”

“Subtle.” You remarked dryly, feeling like a child being lectured for not eating their vegetables.

“Please try to take some before the next check.” You gave no further response to the doctor, watching him and the servant finally leave. The second the door clicked closed you felt movement behind you and glared weakly as the tray as pulled back onto the bed beside you.

“I said I’d-”

“I know what you said.” Doflamingo noted far too evenly for your liking. “I also know that you lied when you said you’d try later. You’d really hurt their feelings by lying?”

“Rather their feelings get hurt than you hurt them physically.” You uttered before breaking out into a cough. Thankfully this time you felt no pain or brought up any blood but the tightness in your chest and constant action left your wheezing and breathless. When you’d recovered you glowered at Doflamingo as he adjusted you to recline back and hold a spoon of broth out to you. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because you’re too weak and stubborn to feed yourself.”

“No. This.” You barely managed to tap his arm around your waist. “Why insist I get better? Why help? This could kill me if we do nothing.” Doflamingo felt his jaw tighten as he fought to keep his expression unreadable to you. Thankfully your usual perception was dulled considerably and you failed to notice how your words got under his skin him and made him bristle. Instead he brought the spoon a little closer to divert your attention away from the question. Unfortunately your stubbornness and deep—seated need to defy him was still very much in tact. “Tell me.”

“Well I didn’t infect you did I?” Doflamingo asked smoothly, deciding to opt for an easier explanation for his actions, more for his own benefit than yours. “It’d be the same as having someone else kill you and that’s not going to happen. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” You grumbled as you eyed the spoon hesitantly. If you gave in and tried the broth then it meant you were doing what Doflamingo wanted. Not wanting to lose to him in the strange sense of point scoring you both had you slowly looked at him, already seeing his grin appear when he could tell you were contemplating giving in and eating. Spurned on you pursed your lips slightly. “Say please first.”

“You’ve got to be joking.” Doflamingo ground out. Why did he expect that being sick would make you more agreeable. “Isn’t me holding you so you can sleep and spoon-feeding you enough?”

“You did that on your own.” You remarked with a pout, refusing to comment on how truthfully comfortable and reassured you felt against him. “You want me to eat? Say please.”

Doflamingo stared you down for what felt like an eternity. He was once a Celestial Dragon. Anything he wanted he took. Even now as Dressrosa’s king that was still the case. His every whim and wish was granted when he opened his mouth. Not once had he ever said please, or had to genuinely ask for something. Harshly he bit the inside of his mouth at the sheer absurdity of it all. Suddenly you began to cough again, this time more persistent that the previous bout that racked through your body. He glared at the sound of your worsened wheeze, no doubt because of the amount of talking and effort it was having on your body. Unwillingly he recalled the doctors telling him that your readings hadn’t changed and that  your body needed the balance of rest and nutrients to even be able to fight off the infection. Just because being in his hold meant you didn’t feel pain, it didn’t free you from the infection itself still coursing through your body and getting stronger. As you caught your breath, Doflamingo gnashed his teeth together and forced out a simple but audible. “Please.”

Surprise managed to bring a small amount of light to your eyes. Quite honestly you had expected Doflamingo to force your mouth open before even letting that one little word break from his own. Still you weren’t one to go back on your word and now having the knowledge that you made the Doflamingo Donquixote say please, made the fact you had to be spoon-fed like a baby less humiliating. Taking a breath you nodded and parted your lips, accepting the food reluctantly. 

For the entire process you were surprised to find Doflamingo didn’t rush you, simply waiting in silence for you to attempt the next spoonful offered. Even more surprising was that he seemed to know you’d reached your limit before you had to say so. The bowl was set aside and you let out a tired sigh of relief. Your relief was short-lived because immediately Doflamingo lifted the small vial of medicine and removed the topper and brought it closer. “You already used your ‘please’ so no absurd requests for this one.” 

“It’s fine…” You mumbled, more for yourself than anything else. “I’ve had awful shots in worse bars in the past…I can do this.” Doflamingo chuckled and helped tip the contents of the vial into your mouth, watching you force it down and tense as the full taste hit you. You winced and let out a shuddering breath. It wasn’t the worst thing you’d tasted in your life but even with the doctors making a clear attempt to make the experience more tolerable for you, it was clear it was medicine and nothing to be entirely enjoyed. You gratefully took a sip of water when it was offered to you and already felt the strange numbing warmth begin to spread through you from the medicine. You shifted to get comfortable and curled up, a yawn building in your chest that didn’t feel as tight as it had just a few moments ago. “You don’ have to stay…”

“Oh? You got someone else lined up to sneak in here if I go?” Doflamingo asked with a chuckle. You’d unknowingly moved your arm over his chest at the same time you told him he could go.

“Mhm…” You nodded, mind already hazy and eyes closed. “Don’ be jealous…’kay?”

“Oh I already told you I don’t get jealous, remember?” Doflamingo smirked as you sleepily laughed and forced your eyes open to briefly look at him.

“You also never said please before. First time…for everything hm?” Your sleepy triumphant smile was so endearing that Doflamingo couldn’t even get annoyed at your reminder of your getting the upper hand over him. Even if he did, you wouldn’t have heard anything because you were promptly asleep.

———

You were completely knocked out and in the deepest sleep when the doctors came by for their next check on you. They informed Doflamingo that your response to the first dose of medication was a promising sign. They explained that they’d ensured there was a good balance to assist your immune system to fight the infection, relax your airways, regulate your temperature, manage pain relief, and protect the vital organs. Doflamingo nodded in satisfaction at the report. “My King, there is something we’d like to test while they’re sleeping.” The doctor requested glancing briefly to your sleeping form still against Doflamingo’s chest. “Can you move them out of your touch? I’d like to ensure the pain relief is correct for them? We don’t want to risk them being under or over medicated in that respect.”

Doflamingo hesitated for the briefest second but relented, settling his arms around you and shifting to pass you down to lie against the pillows and climbed out of the bed. He watched silently and hands tensed, to use his strings and stop the doctor if need be. It seemed the doctor was nervous, already remembering what almost happened to her colleague the first night they tended to you. Experimentally her hand settled against yours, sighing in relief to see your fingers twitch at the contact but you gave no other reaction. your expression was kept at its calm, relaxed state as it had been while you slept in Doflamingo’s arms. “That’s promising. My King, you can leave them while they’re sleeping now should you wish? Stretch your legs or even attend to other business. They shouldn’t wake for another few hours if our assumptions are correct.” 

He nodded and offered you another glance. Immediately he felt reluctant to leave you and for that reason he forced himself to leave your quarters, needing desperately to clear his head and get away from your presence. He needed something recognisable, routine. Doflamingo headed straight for his own room and into his personal bathroom. The strong heat and stream of water from the shower helped to loosen the knots in his body and unravel some of the tension that had built in him over the course of the last few days. Between rushing home to Dressrosa from the Marine base until this moment he hadn’t let you out of his sight and had practically ignored everything else. When he was dried and changed, he made his way to the dining room, deciding to actually spend time with his family and eat while making sure to not give you a second thought, out of sheer determination to prove to himself he wasn’t in anyway concerned about you. 

“Doffy what do you think?” Doflamingo blinked in the middle of the meal, only now realising that he’d been absently looking at the time on the clock. Had he been unconsciously checking how long was left until you woke? No. He couldn’t have. He was just tired, he didn’t sleep at the best of times and the shower he had and wine he was drinking was just making him sleepy. 

“About what Diamanté?”

“We were just saying how funny the whole thing with that island is.” His elite officer said. “It’s further proof that you two are soulmates.”

“How so?” Doflamingo asked, not understanding how you getting sick was proof. Then again he’d not been listening to the first part of the conversation, a point no one at the table would point out. Doflamingo couldn’t help but think you would though. The second he slipped on anything, you would promptly call him out on it. Sharply he shoved that thought out of his head and focused on Diamanté who spoke, unfazed at having to no doubt repeat himself. 

“Well it was just a nothing little island, with nothing little criminals storing weapons for us. None of us were meant to even go there for the hand over.” He explained with an amused smile. “If I recall right we were going to send one of the middle tier pirate crews under your command to go. You decided last minute to go. If you hadn’t then you never would have encountered them and brought them here to then be treated by the doctors for that deadly infection. It’s interesting how it all played out isn’t it?”

Interesting certainly was one way of putting it and it was something Doflamingo couldn’t help but continue to consider it after dinner. He remembered now. It was just how Diamanté reminded him. A crew similar to Bellamy’s was instructed to collect the weapons and ammunition being stored at the warehouse. Then a tip came through from one of his other Marine informants that a unit was stationed at the island, waiting to strike and interfere with the operation without knowing it was his business they were sticking their noses into. He hadn’t gotten any names or further information about you or the unit. It was the vaguest report but still, Doflamingo had immediately made the decision to go there and deal with the unit himself. At the time had it been interpreted as something to entertain him. Had he been simply bored or had fate made him go? To inadvertently save your life from the sickness that was already in your system and incubating without anyone knowing? 

Harshly he rubbed his head as he walked down the halls, feeling a migraine coming on. Doflamingo reached for the doorhandles and pushed them open, stopping abruptly when he saw he’d made his way to your room instead of his own. Muttering a curse under his breath he closed the doors and stepped further inside. Silently he told himself he was only doing this until you were a little better and didn’t need the medicine. Pulling back the covers he got back into the bed and lay down beside you but knowing you were still sound asleep with the medicine in your system mean he didn’t need to touch you. Letting out a long groan, he closed his eyes and lifted his hand to press his thumb and finger against his temples. 

The slight sound of shifting fabric caught his attention, signalling him that you were shifting in your sleep. Doflamingo was caught by surprise when your body pressed against him, your head tucking into the crook of his neck. He could tell you were still fast asleep, your deep breathing the clearest sign. Everything in your movements was purely instinct, including when one of your hands lifted you lay over his head, your fingers settling over the point of his headache that immediately began to subside. As he felt himself drift asleep he began to consider that it was only fair you both benefited from the affects that being soulmates brought.

——————————————-

TAG LIST (If I’ve missed anyone or if you want to be added just let me know) @3v37773, @tsaaps , @i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy , @sanemisnonexistenteyebrow , @fiery-captain-spider-santa@kabloswrld , @atanukileaf , @ane5e , @stuckinthewrongworld , @deathsmajestysworld , @cloudysunset04 , @extremely-ashtridic , @decayingpizza , @liesatemyocean , @ace-for-ace , @nerium-lil , @destynelseclipsa , @dreamcastgirl99 , @my-name-is-heartache , @iamn1ya ,  @yunho-leeknow , @hinata7346 , @h0oouwlss , @missrandomdreamer , @sleepykittycx , @ddawn111 , @jaygrl22 , @sylum , @acehyacinth , @resident-cryptid , @treelogirl , @maellem , @its-a-dam-blue-brick , @thulhu

[soleilapproves]

Lucid Submission - chapter 1

Synopsis: Sukuna Ryomen is reborn as a human being as punishment for ruining the balance of good and evil in the divine realm. To lift his curse and return to his original form, the former demon king must complete the condition bestowed upon him by the deities. Except it can only be done by having a child with the street thief who stole his coin pouch.

fanfic masterlist

prologue < > chapter 2

There wasn’t a day where Sukuna didn’t miss his old form. His extra set of eyes helped him see dust particles in the tiniest of corners, his multiple hands helped him fight the strongest of spirits, and his inhumane demonic strength had everyone fearing him: every human, divine being, and spirit. 

Mothers in the mortal realm often told their children to sleep early if they didn’t want to be taken away by the King of all demons–Sukuna Ryomen. His fearful reputation takes its stake even in the smallest of villages. People often left offerings at his statue in a misty valley to please his immortal soul and protect themselves from the demons he ruled over. His stark tattoos signify his position in the Divine Realm, the controller of chaos and death. 

Alas, but that was no more. It had been hundreds of years since people had uttered his name. Apparently, receiving Divine Punishment and being reborn as a human being meant being wiped from the minds of all humans. His statue simply collected dust. Wearing away till his stony face weathered into a smooth curve. No remnants of his terrifying mug. Only an outline of what once was the demon’s face.

Sukuna stared down at the pool of water reflecting his human form–two swelling muscular arms, a single pair of eyes, no mask to hide half his face, and his cursed tattoos. His figure was worse in the past. All bones and no muscle to cushion them. Not enough blood to bring color to his face. He had to train rigorously to be as strong as he is now. 

Most humans would assume the man was the closest thing to a humanoid behemoth. But what he looks like now isn’t even a fraction of his former figure–humongous, horrifying, and unnerving. A true demon king. 

“Master, I have your coin pouch ready, and the bodyguards have been stationed outside the estate. We will take our leave as soon as you are dressed.” Sukuna hadn’t realized when Uraume, his servant, entered his private onsen. A disadvantage of having human ears was that you weren’t sensitive to the smallest of vibrations made against the ground. Sukuna clicked his teeth from snarling. 

“I have your robes placed in the dressing room.” Uraume shuffled back outside. Sukuna knew it was time to go when he began to shiver–another thing he never had to worry about in the Divine Realm. He had never felt more pathetic when he had to succumb to stupid human sensations, such as his nipples hardening when he was cold, eyes squinting when too much light passed through his corneas, or when his muscles ached after training too hard. It was humiliating, and it was all a part of his punishment. 

The worst part of it all was when he’d feel overstimulated, which was quite often. Too many sounds, textures, and sights. He'd try to steer clear of markets, brothels, festivals, and restaurants, but Uraume would push him to go to those places to find the other half of that cursed pearl—his only hope for redemption. Today was yet another day where he’d have to go to the local market to buy gifts for the many women he would meet at a brothel that just opened in the next town over. The most beautiful women had been collected all over the nation to please the abhorrent sexual needs of men. Hopefully, one of them would have the other half of his pearl.

The market was surprisingly pleasant to walk through despite the chill of the winter air. Uraume and Sukuna’s bodyguards followed close behind him as he looked at all the jewelry stalls. Ornamental hand fans with pink sakura were all the rage, even during the barren season. 

“Here, sir, I’m sure a very special woman in your life will want this,” the old lady across the table said to him with a bright smile, a single front tooth missing. The crow's feet beside her eyes and the multiple scars on her fingers told him she had been doing this for years. He’d met her when she was only a child, stitching together pieces of cloth and paper in the back of her father’s woodworking shop. A constant and dull life. If he wanted, he could make her as rich as a moneylender. His prosperous yet boring life as a human itched him to do good for her. 

But he bit his lip, hands tightening around his money pouch. He had a lot of questions, but the one that stood out to him the most after being reborn was if humans were innately driven to do good and if that habit would follow him once he’d returned to the Divine Realm. He often found himself trying to reason between his demonic and human sides. 

All he could do, for now, was pay a little more than she had told him to. She could probably buy fish and make warm soup for herself on this winter day. He pulled out the red pouch from a small pocket in his robes. But as soon as his eyes landed on his palm to fish out the coins, the pouch had long disappeared, leaving only a wisp of wind behind. 

“There, follow her!” A brawny bodyguard yelled from behind Sukuna. The band of three men ran towards the thief. Sukuna was often stolen from in bigger cities but not in the town he had been living in for the past three hundred years. He usually stood back and waited for his men to bring back the thief so he could humiliate them in public, but something in him was telling him to follow the thief. 

A ‘gut feeling’ as the humans called it. Sukuna turned to return the fan to the shopkeeper, but she pushed it back to him. “I know you will pay me later. Go and get your money pouch. I’m here every day at the same time.” He ignored her ominous smile and swiftly ran after the group, fan folded in hand—a stark contrast of pink against his black robes. 

The thief was relatively fast on her feet, jumping over a cart full of clay pots and rolling down the hill towards the forest on the outskirts of the town. Sukuna’s bodyguards followed suit, albeit in a tumbling mess, but enough to get ahold of her in the forest. They pulled the coin pouch out of her grasp and kicked her legs, prompting her to get down on the snow on her knees. One guard grabbed her left arm while another grabbed the right one. The third man had a sword held by her neck. 

Sukuna coolly arrived at the scene, his hat now covering his face to prevent the daytime brightness of the snow from blinding him. The thief was a mess. She wore dirty clothing that looked so brown that it was impossible to tell that it used to be red if it wasn’t for small, clean patches by her collar and sleeves (she probably drank from a stream nearby). Her face was decorated with several minor cuts because she was rolling down the hill, and her hair was a matted mess, with twigs and dirt sticking out. 

“You dare steal from me?” Sukuna’s voice boomed through the forest as he walked closer to the thief on the ground. The snow cushioned everything so only Sukuna’s voice could be heard, suffocating her with his presence. 

“Rich folk can always pull that money out of their asses. A few lost coins will not harm you,” she spat as she looked away from the man she stole from. His eyes were trained on her as he finally stood before her. 

“Stolen, not lost. I should rip your tongue out for being so crass with me.” With quiet anger evident in his voice, he dragged the fan from her temple to her chin. The path was painfully short, for her face was so small because of malnourishment. He could see her shiver, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or his indirect touch. Considering how thin her clothes looked, it was probably the former. 

He pulled her chin to face him and tilted her head upwards with the fan. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you, street vermin.” Her eyes were closed. “Slice my tongue. I do not wish to speak to you because I have nothing to lose by being rude to yet another rich man,” Sukuna was, of course, never planning on ripping the woman’s tongue out, but she was slowly persuading him to do so. 

“Look at me in the eye as you make your request, you wench.” His red eyes bore into her lidded ones. “He said to open ‘em up!” The guard holding the sword snarled. She gulped before looking up at the former demon, beautiful orbs glaring at him. “You happy now?” 

But Sukuna couldn’t say anything. The man was cotton-mouthed. Staring back at him was a greenish-blue hue twinkling over her actual eye color. It looked like magic. Surely, no human was unique enough to have mesmerizing eyes enough to put the most beautiful of angels and spirits to shame. He had bedded many women in the centuries he’d been alive, but none of them had eyes as alluring as hers. “Megumi, look into her eyes–what color are they?” 

The guard holding her right arm looked down into her eyes and replied with her normal eye color, completely missing the apparent turquoise hue visible to Sukuna.

“I have found her,” he whispered to himself. “Three hundred years and she’s finally in front of me,” he yelled as he took his hat off and threw it on the ground. He rubbed his hands on his face and looked back at her again, and sure enough, the hues in her eyes were still there. “I should’ve known that you were a lunatic when you pulled out a whole pouch instead of a few coins in a busy street,” the confused woman mumbled as she watched Sukuna laugh to himself. 

“I am not letting you go. Oh no, you will come to my estate,” He laughed to himself like a madman. “Three hundred years, and now I am finally going to be free.”

“Look, you can have your pouch back. I’ll even give you all the money I have on me right now. Just don’t take me home with you,” the woman begged, but the guards only held on to her tighter.

“Not a chance. Now, come on, we have a wedding to attend.”

Confused, the woman raised her brow. “Whose?”

“Ours.”

[takumiraine]

Once upon a time chapter 11

Teaching children is so draining. Is it Christmas break yet????

<first> <prev> <next>

The ride to Danny’s apartment building was uneventful, even though Danny was still positively radiating anxiety.

“How long do you think it’ll take them to realize they’ve been hacked?” He asked, looking over at Tucker.

“They’ve probably already realized it honestly. But none of it can tie back to us really so… hopefully they don’t show up.” Tucker shrugged, giving Danny another pat on the arm. There had been so many of them, and Danny was pretty sure half were just because Tucker knew that he hadn’t been getting much physical contact at all lately.

He hadn’t been living a life of much anything at all lately.

“If we can get me some old Fenton tech and a soldering kit I might be able to put some anti-anti ghost weapons together. I was the one that fixed most of their stuff anyways.” Danny mused, considering what he could feasibly do. “If I could get some of the shield tech and a specter deflector I could theoretically combine them to create a personal shield. Vlad’s shielding is better but I’m not going up to Wisconsin again.”

Danny shuddered in his muttering before going on talking through the possible changes he’d make. Jason looked at Sam and Tucker in the mirror. “Cheese fountain incident?”

“Among other things. Danny and Vlad have never really gotten along. Vlad always had a creepy thing for Danny’s mom and it was just weird.” Tucker explained, looking over at Sam.

“And Vlad kept trying to kill, clone and possibly make genetic babies with Danny. There’s Dani and Dan in the zone somewhere I think. You’d know if you met one of them,” Sam added, while Danny just nodded absently in agreement.

“Sam, are you planning on going home any time soon?” Danny asked, sort of changing the subject.

“No, and even if I was, I’m not sure how I’d get some of your parents failed tech out without them noticing. Jazz said they’re always in the lab now, trying to figure out how to, and I quote, ‘save their precious son from the evil ghost that is possessing him’.”

Danny groaned. “You’d think, after watching me be attacked and changing in front of their eyes, they’d get over this possession bullshit.”

“There’s a point to be made about willful ignorance there,” Sam agreed, “I guess it’s easier to swallow than the truth.”

They parked in front of Danny’s building and the four got out. “If you think your car will be safe here you can come up. But not a word about how I’ve been living. The paranoia is your fault.” Danny scowled up at Jason, and not for the first time Jason found Danny’s willingness to stand up to someone much taller than him endearing.

“Not a word. Scout’s honor.” Jason was never a scout, and he had very little honor left, but he doubted Danny knew either of those things. He sent a quick text to Babs and the car drove itself off.

Danny squinted at it for a minute then muttered, “fucking rich people.” as he led the way into the building and up to his apartment. Jason knew the vague location based off of the fact that Danny ran cold, but seeing the interior in person was different. By no means was the building one of the nicer ones in the alley, but burnt out lights, chipped plaster and missing chunks of stairs gave the building an almost condemned feeling. Danny led the way with the confidence of someone who had lived there a while, and his two friends followed behind with almost equal confidence, trusting Danny would warn them of anything potentially dangerous.

They made it to the third floor without incident, and Danny led the way to the apartment door he had claimed. “I don’t want to hear a word about my apartment.” He warned, looking mostly at Jason. “The protection measures are your fault, and I haven’t had much money to decorate.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at him, but nodded. Danny looked around for a moment, then reached through the door. There was a click of the first lock disengaging then the slide of the chain lock, before Danny pulled his hand back and opened the door. He pushed it open with one hand only for it to swing open through a bed.

That was different.

“One sec.” Danny reached through with his free hand and lifted the bed like he was carrying a tray of dishes, letting the door go as he carried the bed further into the room. There was a soft thud as he set it down, then Danny straightened up and turned to them. “C’mon in. Welcome to my haunt. Lock the door behind you.”

Danny turned and walked into the bathroom, coming out with an armload of blankets which he spread onto the bed. Had he been sleeping in the tub?

Jason followed the other two into the room, and shut the door behind him, latching it obediently. He took in the bare bulb light, the duct tape on the window, the way the bed had been pushed against the door, the lack of any personal touches save for the bedsheets having comets on them.

Danny went into the attached kitchenette area and opened some cabinets. Inside were snacks all bearing the logo of the local discount store. “I don’t have anything fancy, but help yourselves. I could boil some water for tea or something too.” He gestured to the bed, now taking what seems to have been its usual space before all of this. “Sit. Make yourselves at home. It’s all clean.”

“Danny…” Tucker started, looking around at the impersonal space, but Sam nudged him.

“Tea sounds great. Any of your snacks vegan and cruelty free?” Danny seemed to relax at the question.

“I have a couple of fruit leather things.” He reached into the back of the cupboard he was using as a pantry and pulled out a couple sticks of something from one of those “Ivy Approved” stamped boxes. He tossed one at Sam, then offered it to both Tucker and Jason. Tucker shook his head but Jason shrugged and nodded, so he got one tossed at him too. Only then did Danny open a different cupboard and pull out his one pot, dented and dinged on the sides, to fill with tap water.

“I realize I never got your number.” Jason paused, “For tutoring reasons,” he added lamely. Danny laughed somewhat nervously.

“Well I don’t really have one. I mean. I do. Did. But it doesn’t have minutes. It’s why I hung out in the library all the time.” He looked almost embarrassed, a red flush against his pale skin.

“It’s alright.” Jason waved it off, and gave Danny a roguish grin and a wink. “Anyone sketchy enough in this part of town can pass a message to me.”

Danny pauses and ducks his head, busying himself with the tea. The mugs are chipped but everyone is given one. Danny sits himself on the floor by the bed. Jason looks between where Sam and Tucker are sat on the bed and Danny is sat on the floor. He considers for a moment before sitting on the floor near Danny but far enough away that it wouldn’t be infringing on his space.

Danny sighed. “I know you have questions.” He told Jason.

“Yeah. A lot of them. But they aren’t important right now.”

Danny took a sip of his tea. Raised an eyebrow. “Really.” The question was more of a statement and Jason shrugged.

“I trust you’d tell me if I or my city were in any immediate danger.” He was burning with questions. About his pit. What it meant, why Danny had called it a core, what it could do, why it made him so angry. But they weren’t important right now. Danny had had a hell of a week.

“You’re…weird,” Danny conceded. Tucker and Sam sipped at their tea.

“So Jason,” Sam began, smiling through her dark lips, black nails ticking against the ceramic. “Danny is very important to us. If you’ve been in the GIW’s files you know that.”

Jason didn’t know where she was going, but Danny seemed to. He flushed scarlet. “Sam!” He hissed. “Stop it!”

“What are your intentions towards him? I know based on some quick checks that Red Hood is more of an anti-hero than the rest of your colony of batlings.” Tucker seemed to be joining in on this impromptu shovel talk. Jason would think it, and the effect it was having on Danny, was closer to adorable if it wasn’t funny.

Danny, however, was mortified. His face was flaming and he looked like he was about to melt through the floor. “Guys seriously! Ancients, could you be any more embarrassing?!”

Jason was used to inquisitions like this from his own siblings. He gave a smirk and sipped his tea. “Obviously, I plan to seduce him with power and money and recruit him to my cause of overthrowing my father and corrupting the rest of the Bats and Birds.” Jason gave a wolfish grin then. “Turn Danny into the perfect partner in crime.”

Danny made a choked sound and turned to look at him. Jason met his eyes, feeling Danny’s power push at him, and focusing on reading like amusement back. He had no idea if he did it right but Danny seemed to be mollified and rather than argue he smiled ever so slightly into his mug. “I haven’t ever played the villain properly.” He murmured in agreement.

“Danny!” Tucker and Sam exclaimed in perfect unison.

“What? If I’m going to be in trouble with someone either way may as well have fun with it…”

“Danny, man you can’t be serious.” Tucker scolded softly.

Danny just shrugged. “I dunno. New city new me. And if people think I am a villain, may as well lean into it.”

“Danny, don’t make me call your sister. Jazz is going to be mad enough we came to talk you through this crisis without her.” Tucker made a pretty convincing point by the way Danny frowned some, giving up his joke.

“I could. You don’t have to call my sister about it though.” Danny was definitely pouting.

Jason covered his laugh with a drink from his mug. He had heard this conversation multiple ways, and had it a time or two himself. The soft sound that he made, barely a heavy breath of a sound was enough to turn Sam’s eyes toward him again.

“You’re going to keep him out of trouble, right? He’s a trouble magnet. His hero name should have been Jinx, not Phantom for how much bad luck he attracted.”

Jason looked at Danny, and could very clearly read the slight panic there. The implicit message was clear. Don’t mention the stabbing or broken nose.

“He picked the wrong neighborhood then. But yeah, I’ll make sure people know he’s under my protection.” Danny relaxed then, and Sam seemed to too.

“Good. Because I have work in the morning, and Tucker has to go to class on Monday.”

“Ah shit I forgot…” Danny groaned, “I was going to get a book for our Lit class on Monday and I ran into you and Barbara in the library…. And dropped it.”

“Danny…” Sam sighed, like this was a familiar occurrence.

“I’ve got a copy,” Jason offered, “you can come by my place and read the chapters tomorrow if you want. Save you the walk to and from the library.” He wasn’t sure what made him offer so suddenly, but he felt something warm coil in his gut at the relieved look on Danny’s face.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Since it was kind of my fault you dropped it in the first place, it’s the least I can do.”

Danny smiled up at him then. “Thanks. What time…?”

Jason shrugged. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything during the day tomorrow so whenever.”

“Glad to see Danny isn’t floundering through being forgetful on his own here.” Sam’s tone was fond and amused.

“Hey!” Danny protested.

“Sucks that we’ve been replaced by someone taller and richer though.” Tucker added, nodding forlornly at Jason. Danny’s face colored again.

“Not true and you two know it! Ancients, you guys are assholes!” Danny flopped backwards dramatically, throwing his arm over his eyes. Sam and Tucker shared a look before laughing. “I hate you. So much.” Danny kept his arm firmly over his face.

“We love you too, Danny.”

Jason offered to drive Sam and Tucker back to Bludhaven, but Sam had called an uber. Which, really, explained why she kept a bat. Sam also pulled out a baseball from her bag. “So I’m not intentionally carrying it to be a weapon. I like baseball.” Sam explained with a smile that Jason knew already was filled with false innocence.

“So tomorrow.” Danny began, sitting on his bed. Jason looked over at the pause. “What time?”

He shrugged. “I’m probably not going to patrol much tonight, but…. Maybe early afternoon?”

Danny nodded then. “I can do that. You gonna be okay on the walk home?”

Jason nodded, snorting softly. “Did you forget who I am?”

“No, but everyone expects the vigilantes to always be okay. Nobody ever asks if they will.” Jason was touched by Danny’s concern. If anyone else had asked, he would have been rankled, but Danny was different. Maybe because he was coming from a place of isolation with it.

“Well.” Jason started awkwardly, “I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Goodnight Danny.”

“Night Jason.”